Secret to Creating Love

Secret to Creating Love

This time of year, many of us find ourselves in a funk.  We feel at odds with ourselves for what we have or have not experienced or attracted.

If you have been reflecting on your life lately, you are definitely not alone. So many of us are looking at our life, our relationships, and what we have or have not accomplished or experienced throughout the past year.

We can get down on ourselves and glum.  We can beat ourselves up—telling ourselves that we are not “there” yet. What’s funny is, more often than not, we do not even know where “there” is.

Seriously, “there” is often a place that we feel we should go.  If we are not “there,” we make ourselves feel guilty for not attracting or manifesting it yet.

Is “there” a place that you feel you should be by now?  Have you ever told yourself that by now, you should have:

  • Found true love
  • Taken that trip to Europe
  • Stood up to the office bully
  • Told your partner the truth
  • Written that book
  • Gotten healthy
  • Healed your broken heart
  • Followed your dreams

Listen, there are so many things that you can fault yourself for not having or doing.  There are so many opportunities to be mean and critical of yourself.

This does not have to be the case. Let’s look at this another way…

If your heart is yearning or longing or craving something different from what you currently have, know that you are NOT alone.  As humans, we are always looking for a better experience or the next best thing.

You are a bit different though.  You are a soul-driven person.  You are sensitive and have a big heart.

As soul-driven people, we have a passion in us.  It is a spark that can ignite change and be a catalyst for transformation.  It is also that healing light inside of you.  It is the light inside of you that may seem dull at times, but know this—it never goes out!! For this reason:

  • Your sense of longing might feel so much more substantial than the average person’s.
  • You feel things so deeply.
  • You believe in miracles.
  • You feel sad and hopeless at times because you are not experiencing these miracles…

Even if you have a good relationship, there might be a part of you that feels it could be better.  Even if you are at peace with being single, there might be a part of you that secretly yearns for a relationship that reflects your soul’s magic.

Instead of dwelling in your sadness and fixating on what you do not have right now, I want to invite you to give yourself a more joyful experience.

It is very simple.

It starts by doing something that you love.

See, life feels so delicious when we get to do what we love.  And it gets really, really good when we get to spend it with people we love. And it gets really over-the-top good when we are true to ourselves.

I have a theory that really isn’t anything that you have not heard before. It goes a little something like this:

  • When we do what we love doing, we feel great.
  • When we feel great, we uplift our self-confidence and self-esteem.
  • When we are confident in ourselves, we are attractive and clear.
  • When we are attractive and clear, we attract experiences that we love.

What do you love doing that you could easily do right now or in the very near future?

For me, it’s cooking. I love cooking.  The experience of playing with spices and flavors, and dancing with textures.  The excitement of someone saying, “Wait, is this really a vegan dish?  Is this seriously gluten-free?”  It is all so deeply Divine to me.

I have found a lot of love in the kitchen.  It is a therapy for me. It gets me out of whatever funk I am in.  It is a way that I love myself though nurturing my body. It is a way that I love others through making them delicious healthful food.

When I am cooking, I do not think about my problems, someone else’s problems, or the world’s problems. It is a window of time when I am truly present—where I am focused on creating something where I enjoy myself in the process.

I have noticed that it is often when we are in this place of love and being present, we are truly open and free to receiving love in all of its many forms.

See, when we are so focused thinking about what we do not have or dwelling on our problems, we can get overwhelmed.  It can be very difficult to come from a loving, clear, and grounded place.  Sometimes, we might be so flooded that we either sit on the fence and/or self-sabotage in a number of ways.  We keep ourselves confined to a very limited and stagnant and fearful reality.

For a grounded and real-world example, let’s talk about heartbreak or unrequited love.  Sometimes we really want to make someone love us.  We may play a video over and over again in our mind about what happened and where we went wrong or they went wrong in the relationship. We can torment ourselves with this…This can cause us to self-soothe in ways that cause us to feel worse about ourselves…It can cause us to lament the problem instead of focusing on the solution.

We do this often because the solution is so out of reach.  We want a quick fix…We do not want to feel helpless.  The best way out of this is to choose to do something that you love doing and where you do not take yourself too seriously.

Again, for me it is the kitchen. I used to tell my husband that if I approached every challenge in the way that I handle myself in the kitchen I would be free of pain and worry.

So right now if you feel that you are stuck or unmotivated or fearful, I urge you to do something that you enjoy doing. This can be coloring, drawing a picture, doing yoga, writing a poem, volunteering, going on a walk, sending a person that you love a card, etc.  Whatever it is, choose something that you can do right now.

No excuses! 🙂