As a Love and Relationship Psychic and Coach, I have the pleasure of connecting with people about their love lives and relationships. Recently, I felt inspired by a client’s session and received Divine Guidance (and her permission) to share this with you.
She is a beautiful, vibrant woman. Highly intelligent, successful, and quite kind. She is the type of person many of us would see and think, “Her life is perfect. She has it all figured out.”
The reality is that she has been in an emotionally abusive romantic relationship for three years too long.
She has told herself that she can fix it—that if she could just “be better” and “work harder,” then her partner would be happy—and that maybe the relationship would one day be what she has always wanted it to be.
In this relationship, she often experiences feeling devalued, dismissed, wrong, and anxious. She is not treated with love and respect. Many times, she has wanted to leave but has chosen to stay. She is losing confidence.
Does anything about her story feel familiar to you? As someone who loves to identify and dismantle illusions that separate us from Love, which I call the Illusions of Relationship™—I am excited to shed light on this common situation with a Love Renegade’s perspective, starting with mistaken thinking.
My client’s mistaken thinking was such that she believed that “being better” was going to going to lead to new enjoyable experiences in her relationship. Her motivation for “being better” was with the expectation that her [former] partner would like her more or treat her better. Although completely understandable, this approach is not only manipulative but also a form of self-deception.
The mistaken thinking at play here aligns fully with the Illusions of Relationship™, but not with Love. If continued, actions made from such thinking would result in more opportunities to deceive and be deceived, more reasons to stay stuck, and more dissatisfaction in relationships—causing a lot of pain and frustration!
Now back to my client—-in addition to being gorgeous and successful—she is a martial artist. In her coaching session, her Guides and I directed her to apply martial arts to this common relationship dynamic. From this exercise, she uncovered that her [former] partner’s “signature move” against her was a chokehold-—which made perfect sense for her!
See, the throat is the energy center of communication, authenticity, and self-expression. When we have blocks on our throat chakra, we are experiencing difficulty in speaking or living our truth. Nothing about this relationship really supported her in shining as her authentic self!
As we continued the session, I watched her throat chakra heal as she connected with her inner Love Renegade. As she saw the enlightened truth before her, she embraced a new perspective that will support her in breaking free of an emotional chokehold and the Illusions of Relationship™.
Of course, without being consciously aware of it, many of us unknowingly allow ourselves to be put into emotional chokeholds. For your own healing and illumination, I encourage you to spend some time with the following questions:
What would I do or say if I felt more trusting and confident?
Is there anywhere in my relationship or life where I am deceiving myself?
Tired of feeling frustrated, overwhelmed, and stuck in your current relationships? You might be experiencing mistaken thinking, a phenomenon which makes it very hard for you to see the opportunities in front of you, causing you to take incongruent action, which ultimately leads to being stuck and feeling the frustration, anger, resentment, etc. that comes with it.
Signs of mistaken thinking include the following:
Following advice that is NOT congruent to you and expecting it to work. There is A LOT of mistaken thinking perpetuated by so-called relationship experts, health authorities, and business coaches.
Seeing only one or two options for how to move forward. This is the Illusion of Absorption at its finest. If you only see one or two options, you are participating in a form of mistaken thinking. If you find yourself arguing that you have no choice, then ask yourself, “Why do I need to be right about being so powerless and limited? How does this help me?”
Viewing yourself as wrong or defective. This is a form of self-abuse designed to keep you stuck and perceiving yourself as powerless.
Believing that life has to be hard and that relationships take a lot of work. Many people believe that we have to suffer in order to grow and that anything worth having requires a lot of work. While there is a little bit of truth to this, this is another form of mistaken thinking. Suffering and growth do not have to co-exist.
Doing what you did years ago, when your relationships and life are now calling you to new action. Usually what worked for us five or six years ago will not work for us anymore. If this is what you are experiencing then it is time to break free of mistaken thinking and open yourself up to new possibilities.
Any of this sound familiar? Would you like to resolve your mistaken thinking, reconnect with the Truth of who you are,and be on your way to authentically enjoying your life and relationships? Hire me to “clean up your thinking” with a Soul Guidance Session. The Soul Guidance Session includes the following:
Key insight into how you can move forward in a way that resonates to your unique energetic signature
Shedding light on the Truth of the matter, without all of the illusions that are causing “mistaken thinking”
Practical guidance for relaxing into your energy as you take new aligned action
This session is 60 minutes, delivered on Zoom. The session is recorded for your convenience. It also includes a 30 minute follow-up session. Until Wednesday June 9, 2021, at 7 PM CST the Guidance Session is only $300, which is half my normal rate!!
After I receive notification of payment, either I or someone from the Love Renegades Team will be in touch to schedule your session and gather the information that I need to create your session. Please know that all sales are final and refunds are not offered.
I highly encourage you to take me up on this offer. I am looking forward to working with you!
Read the transcription below, but it is highly recommended that you watch the video!
Today I am so excited to connect with you about the Illusion of Absorption. This the 5th of the Illusions of Relationship. This one separates from Love and disconnects you from your heart by keeping you in your head and in the space being a know-it-all, trying to figure everything out, thinking you have everything figured out. It is totally an illusion because as much as it is hard to admit or accept, there is no such thing as certainly. Yes, when we are under the Illusion of Absorption we take in everything that we have learned, we absorb it, and it is really hard for us to open ourselves up to other perspectives. But really, we have hit a wall. Really, we can only see as far as our perspective will allow us to see. What this can do is it keeps you in your heard. It can make your heart cold. You might feel that you are disappointed by people or that you are disappointing others in some way. You might have some really logical reasons as to why. I have such much love and compassion for you. We’ve all been there. My advice to you is to have love and compassion with yourself to recognize “my heart is cold. It’s a little cold right now. I have some healing to do. Yes, I have done a lot already, but there is still more.” Just set that intention for you to attract the resources and the people ( the coach or healer or mentor) who can support you with what.
There is a difference between doing something new with gusto and trying. When we try, we are unknowingly activating the Illusion of Perfection, one of the Illusions of Relationship™. It’s a heavy energy!
When we try, we act with expectation. We are expecting something to happen. Expecting someone else to do something. This creates a lot of heavy pressure, creating unnecessary obstacles and burdens. It’s draining! It is a lot to carry.
You may think “I am doing everything right! I am trying so hard! Why is this not working?”
Acting from a place of trying energizes the Illusion of Perfection and is a wonderful recipe for frustration, anger, and fatigue. These energies are not attractive when creating a new relationship—one that reflects you! Nor do they magnetize new, enjoyable circumstances in your current relationship!
See, creating a new relationship or a different result in our current relationships—both where we are free to be our true selves—takes love and conscious aligned effort. It is consistently making new choices. It’s committing to show up as the person who has their ideal relationship.
What is your ideal relationship? If you are already in a great relationship, what would make it even better?
When you answer this question, I urge you to keep your answer focused on YOU and not on your partner. Here’s why…
If you watch the the Illusion of Perfection video (which you can do here: https://youtu.be/kf6ZJvdqeG8) you will see that one of the traits of this Illusion is being judgmental and critical. When we want others to be different from who they are, we first must acknowledge the parts of ourselves that are ready for an upgrade.
Does that make sense?
Sending you blessings of divine understanding, trust, and of course: Love.
You can read the transcription below, but it is highly recommended that you watch the video.
What we are going to talk about right now is the Illusion of Perfection. The Illusion of Perfection is the fourth Illusion of Relationship that separates you from Love and disconnects you from your heart by willing you to be absolutely flawless and perfect. This particular Illusion of Relationship causes you to not be yourself. It does this because it keeps you from getting to know your true self. You are constantly plugged in to other peoples’ expectations of you. Now, they might be perceived expectations–projected ones! They may not even be true. A lot of assumptions are made with the Illusion of Perfection. When we are trying for an ideal that is not authentic for us, it puts us out of our brilliance and it makes us inauthentic. This can cause us to attract a lot of situations where we feel like we cannot be ourselves and where we cannot even access ourselves and are genuinely afraid of our potential. Dear one, if this sounds like you, my advice for you is to connect with your heart and set the intention to tap into the creative power, to let your Love Renegade guide you in being yourself, and for you to be courageous enough to put your beautiful heart and enter the world in your own unique way.
Hello, Drama, My Old Friend! When Drama arrives in your life, it could mean that you in the middle of the manifestation process and in the middle of creating real lasting change! OR it can mean that you are under the influence of the Illusion of Drama, one of the Illusions of Relationship™ that pushes love away from you with a misuse of the powerful energy of Drama!
Today I want to connect with you about the Illusion of Drama. The Illusion of Drama is the third of our Illusions of Relationship™ System that disconnects you from your heart and separates you from Love with a lot of drama, with a lot of distraction.
When we are caught into the Illusion of Drama, it is usually when things are so chaotic and busy, and when there is a lot of conflict within and relationship dynamics and within ourselves. When that is happening it is really important for you to tune in and to really be aware of how you can be the most authentic.
Are you emoting and creating drama for drama’s sake? Are you talking about your problems so that you can get attention? Or are you on the verge of a big empowerment opportunity and healing breakthrough in your life and your life is simply aligning to create that.
Drama is a part of the transformation and healing process and it is really important during this time that you go into it with a loving open heart, with a commitment to being authentic, and to step into your transformation with clarity and with a knowing that it is all working out in your favor.
Are you caught in the Illusion of Drama? Want to find out for sure? Take the free Quiz and find out which Illusion of Relationship™ is influencing you here: https://laurenkaywyatt.com/quiz/
Want to go deep and receive empowered support? Contact lauren at love renegades dot com and request a free session.