Do you judge others for not giving you the support (ahem, validation) that you would like? Does a part of you feel that you *need* support from others to be the person you desire to be?
I ask these questions to shed light on Mistaken Thinking where love and support are confused with entitlement and validation. See, it is normal to seek safety and comfort when you are making changes and making new choices.
What we forget in this process is the Illusion of Drama, the Illusion of Relationship™ that separates us from Love by insisting that drama come with the natural chaos of change.
When we make changes our environment will react. By environment I am largely referring to our relationships. The other person (let’s say your partner, your husband, your adult child, your best friend, etc) may not be in “like vibration” to the changes you are making and may react as such. In this instance, it is important that you acknowledge that like you, this person has free will.
Just as you are free to make changes, others are free to react to those changes. If any part of you is seeking validation and approval and even feels entitled to receiving this so-called unconditional support, all you are really doing is activating the Illusion of Drama by causing yourself unnecessary drama, pain, and agony.
I bring this up to invite you to acknowledge your own actions, your own intentions, and your own process of initiating change. For example, have you entered into change with a variation of either of the following? (I have done both!)
Example A– You bulldoze forward with an attitude of, “I don’t care what others think! They will have to deal with it!” Example B– You take action, but you do it in a covert way. It’s like you are living a double life.
Each of the aforementioned situations will inevitably lead to fear because they were initiated with fear. Not only do both of these actions invite drama, as they amplify the Illusion of Drama, but they also make assumptions, which is a hallmark of the Illusion of Absorption.
As you grow, it is wise to accept that much like your inner world and our beautiful oceans, your relationships will ebb and flow. You may find that some of these relationships fall away. This can be both a time of grief and a time of celebration.
Whether your heart is hurting from a breakup or a series of misunderstandings, choose to know that healing and peace are on the way. What would happen if you stepped out of a victim mentality and into your own authority? What would you do differently with all that you learned? What has the other person taught you about yourself?
Daniel and I have been together for 12 years. He is my favorite person. I sincerely believe that this is because both of us are committed to our own growth and respect each other as individuals.
Neither one of us wants to change the other or lives in the past of our relationship. Both of us are very different people from who we were when we first met.
Our secret is simple, and it’s the same one I bring forth to my clients. It’s being our true self and witnessing the other in their growth.
When working with clients I bring forth a variety of tools that clue my client into who they are at soul-level and they are designed to use energy. Through coaching and in shedding light on Mistaken Thinking and the Illusions of Relationship, my clients set themselves free to be their true selves and create and realign relationships where they no longer have to settle, sacrifice, or pretend to be who they are not to receive love.
There is a difference between doing something new with gusto and trying. When we try, we are unknowingly activating the Illusion of Perfection, one of the Illusions of Relationship™. It’s a heavy energy!
When we try, we act with expectation. We are expecting something to happen. Expecting someone else to do something. This creates a lot of heavy pressure, creating unnecessary obstacles and burdens. It’s draining! It is a lot to carry.
You may think “I am doing everything right! I am trying so hard! Why is this not working?”
Acting from a place of trying energizes the Illusion of Perfection and is a wonderful recipe for frustration, anger, and fatigue. These energies are not attractive when creating a new relationship—one that reflects you! Nor do they magnetize new, enjoyable circumstances in your current relationship!
See, creating a new relationship or a different result in our current relationships—both where we are free to be our true selves—takes love and conscious aligned effort. It is consistently making new choices. It’s committing to show up as the person who has their ideal relationship.
What is your ideal relationship? If you are already in a great relationship, what would make it even better?
When you answer this question, I urge you to keep your answer focused on YOU and not on your partner. Here’s why…
If you watch the the Illusion of Perfection video (which you can do here: https://youtu.be/kf6ZJvdqeG8) you will see that one of the traits of this Illusion is being judgmental and critical. When we want others to be different from who they are, we first must acknowledge the parts of ourselves that are ready for an upgrade.
Does that make sense?
Sending you blessings of divine understanding, trust, and of course: Love.
Perfection really is a sneaky beast! It urges us to follow the crowd and while it may lead to some sort of validation, it is really shallow and superficial at best. Really, any praise obtained from trying to be perfect, is the equivalent of fast food. It feels good while it’s happening, but if you eat too much and for too long…well, it can have lasting effects—and not the good kind!!! 🙂
This leads us into the Illusion of Perfection, one of the Illusions of Relationship™ that separates you from Love by causing you to be deeply inauthentic. This Illusion is so subtle that it you will often think that you are being true to yourself by just refining (and well, perfecting) when in reality, you are playing out a cycle of fear.
How does this impact your relationships? Well, it can cause the people in your life—especially your partner(s) or prospective partners—to not even know you. No one, including you, ever gets to truly connect with your authentic identity. This can cause deep longing and frustration—which can play out in sooooo many [dysfunctional] ways in your relationships!
If you would like to transcend the need for perfection, you must heal the Illusion of Perfection within you. Here are two videos where in less than 15 minutes—you will you will receive a deeper understanding of the Illusion of Perfection, and you will have an opportunity to connect with your authentic (ahem LOVE RENEGADE) self.
You can read the transcription below, but it is highly recommended that you watch the video.
What we are going to talk about right now is the Illusion of Perfection. The Illusion of Perfection is the fourth Illusion of Relationship that separates you from Love and disconnects you from your heart by willing you to be absolutely flawless and perfect. This particular Illusion of Relationship causes you to not be yourself. It does this because it keeps you from getting to know your true self. You are constantly plugged in to other peoples’ expectations of you. Now, they might be perceived expectations–projected ones! They may not even be true. A lot of assumptions are made with the Illusion of Perfection. When we are trying for an ideal that is not authentic for us, it puts us out of our brilliance and it makes us inauthentic. This can cause us to attract a lot of situations where we feel like we cannot be ourselves and where we cannot even access ourselves and are genuinely afraid of our potential. Dear one, if this sounds like you, my advice for you is to connect with your heart and set the intention to tap into the creative power, to let your Love Renegade guide you in being yourself, and for you to be courageous enough to put your beautiful heart and enter the world in your own unique way.
Hello, Drama, My Old Friend! When Drama arrives in your life, it could mean that you in the middle of the manifestation process and in the middle of creating real lasting change! OR it can mean that you are under the influence of the Illusion of Drama, one of the Illusions of Relationship™ that pushes love away from you with a misuse of the powerful energy of Drama!
Today I want to connect with you about the Illusion of Drama. The Illusion of Drama is the third of our Illusions of Relationship™ System that disconnects you from your heart and separates you from Love with a lot of drama, with a lot of distraction.
When we are caught into the Illusion of Drama, it is usually when things are so chaotic and busy, and when there is a lot of conflict within and relationship dynamics and within ourselves. When that is happening it is really important for you to tune in and to really be aware of how you can be the most authentic.
Are you emoting and creating drama for drama’s sake? Are you talking about your problems so that you can get attention? Or are you on the verge of a big empowerment opportunity and healing breakthrough in your life and your life is simply aligning to create that.
Drama is a part of the transformation and healing process and it is really important during this time that you go into it with a loving open heart, with a commitment to being authentic, and to step into your transformation with clarity and with a knowing that it is all working out in your favor.
Are you caught in the Illusion of Drama? Want to find out for sure? Take the free Quiz and find out which Illusion of Relationship™ is influencing you here: https://laurenkaywyatt.com/quiz/
Want to go deep and receive empowered support? Contact lauren at love renegades dot com and request a free session.