What if…

  • …Doing the “right thing” is keeping you from having all that you want and more in your love life?
  • …Always “being there” for others is blocking you from attracting your best relationship?
  • …Giving is costing you your own well-being in your physical, spiritual, and emotional health and in your relationships?

Are you someone…

  • who works hard at keeping the peace?
  • strives for spiritual enlightenment?
  • is often the first person to accommodate or bend to another person’s needs?
  • gives of themselves?

Are you finally ready to experience love, appreciation—maybe even validation—for all of the love, hard work, and energy that you pour into your relationships and projects?

If you answered yes to any of the above or if you have a friend, partner, or loved one who feel meets the above criteria, then stay with me as dismantle another illusion together.

An illusion is something that appears to be true, but in reality, creates disempowerment and feeds into many untruths. In other words, an illusion will only lead you further away from what you desire.

Let’s look at this…

Have you heard the expressions and/or experienced the notion of the following?

  1. Nice guys/people finish last.
    Now, I am going to assume that many of us feel that this is false. We want to believe that nice people live happily ever after, but maybe your experience has been the opposite of that? Maybe in your experience, you have been very nice and received very little in return?
  2. Give what you want to get.
    This is where it gets tricky. See, this expression is one of my favorites and its application is/was/has been a great philosophy of mine…However, I feel that many of us heart-centered people do not apply this spiritual adage correctly.
    In applying this expression to our lives, we may believe that…

    1. If in a relationships, that…
      1. if we want our partner to love and respect us, then we get to:
        1. fight or stand up for ourselves until they get it.
        2. give and give and give so that they see how great we are and reward for it
    2. If single/dating, that…
      1. if we want someone we are dating to commit to us or someone to notice us enough to ask us out, then we get to:
        1. give and give and give a lot so that the other person will perhaps give us what we want.
        2. show how great we are: how knowledgeable that we are, how beautiful we are, etc. so that the other person will commit to us or ask us out
        3. appeal to that person at the expense of ourselves so that they will love us and appreciate us and maybe even commit to us.

And regardless of which of the above applies to your personal situation, the end result is the same: disappointment and heartbreak.

So where’s the illusion?

We covered the groundwork with various situations where a heart-centered, loving, and nurturing person (maybe even you perhaps) could be sabotaging their relationship/love life through being a nice person.

Sometimes traditionally nice people can get very resentful when they do not experience gratitude, appreciation, or validation in return. Sometimes they may be burnt out, bitter, or even jaded about love because they feel like they have nothing more to give. They feel depleted.

This breaks my heart as the entire situation could be resolved if new choices, love-based choices were made instead of choices based on fear, habit, and illusion.

Are you ready to dive deeper into how you can have a new experience in your love life and relationship?

Ever wondered how you can experience love and appreciation from others, instead of simply being the one who is always giving?