As a Love and Relationship Psychic and Coach, I have the pleasure of connecting with people about their love lives and relationships.  Recently, I felt inspired by a client’s session and received Divine Guidance (and her permission) to share this with you. 

She is a beautiful, vibrant woman. Highly intelligent, successful, and quite kind.  She is the type of person many of us would see and think, “Her life is perfect. She has it all figured out.”

The reality is that she has been in an emotionally abusive romantic relationship for three years too long. 

She has told herself that she can fix it—that if she could just “be better” and “work harder,” then her partner would be happy—and that maybe the relationship would one day be what she has always wanted it to be.

In this relationship, she often experiences feeling devalued, dismissed, wrong, and anxious. She is not treated with love and respect. Many times, she has wanted to leave but has chosen to stay. She is losing confidence.

Does anything about her story feel familiar to you?   As someone who loves to identify and dismantle illusions that separate us from Love, which I call the Illusions of Relationship™—I am excited to shed light on this common situation with a Love Renegade’s perspective, starting with mistaken thinking.

My client’s mistaken thinking was such that she believed that “being better” was going to going to lead to new enjoyable experiences in her relationship. Her motivation for “being better” was with the expectation that her [former] partner would like her more or treat her better. Although completely understandable, this approach is not only manipulative but also a form of self-deception.

The mistaken thinking at play here aligns fully with the Illusions of Relationship™, but not with Love. If continued, actions made from such thinking would result in more opportunities to deceive and be deceived, more reasons to stay stuck, and more dissatisfaction in relationships—causing a lot of pain and frustration!

Now back to my client—-in addition to being gorgeous and successful—she is a martial artist. In her coaching session, her Guides and I directed her to apply martial arts to this common relationship dynamic.  From this exercise, she uncovered that her [former] partner’s “signature move” against her was a chokehold-—which made perfect sense for her!

See, the throat is the energy center of communication, authenticity, and self-expression.  When we have blocks on our throat chakra, we are experiencing difficulty in speaking or living our truth.  Nothing about this relationship really supported her in shining as her authentic self!

As we continued the session, I watched her throat chakra heal as she connected with her inner Love Renegade. As she saw the enlightened truth before her, she embraced a new perspective that will support her in breaking free of an emotional chokehold and the Illusions of Relationship™.   

Of course, without being consciously aware of it, many of us unknowingly allow ourselves to be put into emotional chokeholds. For your own healing and illumination, I encourage you to spend some time with the following questions: 
 

  • What would I do or say if I felt more trusting and confident? 
  • Is there anywhere in my relationship or life where I am deceiving myself?
  • What part of me wants to shine?