A little over a week ago, Danny and I returned from Europe. It is an understatement to say that our time together was expansive and magical. During the trip, I could feel so much transforming and shifting within me. I knew that I would never be the same again, and now I might be in a little bit of a conundrum.
See, all of the new energies and insights I received have not made their way into word form yet. In fact, if I tried, everything that I had to share might not make the most sense! It might even feel forced.
For these reasons, I have chosen to do something that I am not very good at. I am choosing to wait.
Here’s the thing about waiting. Waiting does not mean doing nothing. It does not mean assuming that things will just fall into your lap. It does not mean meditating or praying your way into a new reality. (These behaviors can lead to frustration, disappointment, and heartache.)
Instead, waiting is a form of accepting and receiving whereby you get to simply be. When in a state of waiting, you get to take note of your environment and notice your feelings, emotions, and options on what you are experiencing and attracting.
To wait is pay attention. To wait is to listen.
When we are in this period of waiting, we are invited to heal. Through the healing process, we can acknowledge our desires. Through healing, we release all blocks us from bringing our desire into our reality.
For instance, do you desire a new relationship? Or a new dynamic within your current relationship? During this process, do you feel like nothing you are doing is working? Do you feel frustrated and stuck?
If you answered yes, then please consider that you might be in a period of waiting. The Universe and your higher self are asking you to look within and to observe your circumstances in a new way. You are being invited to heal so that you can have the new experience that you desire.
Have you ever felt like it was time to give up? When you hear the phrase, “give up” what comes into your heart? Do you feel angry? Does it make you want to fight harder? Does it enlist a feeling helplessness?
If you are…
Single and have been in the process of finding your best relationship for awhile now
Feeling heartbroken from a breakup
Experiencing frustration at the dating process
Yearning to heal your relationship karma
Desire your best relationship with your partner
It could be time for a different type of reaction and new types of choices. Perhaps it time to experience surrender instead?
Whatever your response or situation, know this: Giving up does not mean giving in. Instead, reframe “giving up” as a conscious choice of surrender. When you choose to surrender, you are choosing freedom. When we are free in our relationships, we reclaim our personal power. This allows us to be our most recharged selves in our relationships.
In order to free yourself from negativity in your love life, you must be willing to heal. As this is not the easiest thing to do, I have created a video to assist you in the following:
Acknowledging frustration, anger, pain, and heartbreak that you are feeling
Using these emotions as a gateway to healing
Transforming personal fear into love for optimal healing
Healing is an act of love. Love is the greatest healer. When we heal, we are empowered to have our best relationships.
How does this video make you feel?
And just to shed a little more light on how we can choose love and an empowered path of healing—even with the most recent current events…
Even in this time of tragedy and senseless violence, I am making a conscious choice to acknowledge the highest potential and love spark in humanity.
In times like this, it is not always easy, but know this: no matter how heartbroken and maybe even hopeless we may feel by current events, please know that you matter.
While it may feel small or like it is “not good enough,” each time you smile and allow yourself to fully experience the beauty of the moment…for every hug you give and receive, for every time you choose love over fear, you are acting as a part of the solution. You are powerful, loved, and lovable.
It happens time and time again. Beautiful and success people, mainly women, are driving themselves crazy. Right now, you might be thinking, “oh I don’t think you are talking to me. I am not that successful.” Let me assure you that nothing could be further from the truth!
(Or maybe you are the opposite and you have it all together. If this is the case, awesome job! No need to read any further. )
But if you sometimes feel like you are in a self-esteem slump, know this: you are different. The success that you have radiates beyond conventional success. For instance, I am sure that you are the person of whom many of your friends—and maybe even strangers—seek out when they have an issue. They want to talk to you because they trust you. You have beautiful energy. You give great advice. You have a comforting, no-bullshit attitude.
Here’s the thing though…You are probably pretty hard on yourself. Just because you are not traveling the world yet or just because you do not live in your Barbie dream house (just kidding) yet, you think that you are not “good enough.”
Maybe you feel like you are incomplete because you just can’t seem to “get it right” in the love department. Maybe you have been searching for “Mr. Right” and he is nowhere to be found. Maybe the seemingly “perfect” guy turns out to be a fatal attraction or he is NOT the image he portrayed so well on dates one, two, and three…Maybe you did not even get to date number one.
Whatever it is, keep these truths in mind:
Truth 1- There is no RIGHT way to do anything.
When I first embraced this, I remember feeling both relieved and terrified. I was relieved because I have always had a rebellious streak, but terrified…because WOW…Now what?!!?
Truth 2- It is NOT your fault. Truthfully, there is no “perfect” person and Mr. Right does not exist.
He does not exist because that is an illusion—ok maybe a delusion—given to us from the media. Everyone has his/her flaws.
In fact, what we perceive as flaws, might just be our most attractive and dynamic quality.
Let me explain…Each one of us has our own inner Love Renegade. Accepting these two truths allowed me to connect more and more deeply with my own inner Love Renegade. Your Love Renegade is the part of you who:
Urges you to break the rules and color outside the lines.
Radiates beauty and confidence—she trusts that when she comes from love, she creates love—within and around her.
Speaks to us in ways that cause our heart to open and for our courage to take over when we feel vulnerable
Ignites a spark in you to be your highest potential
Alerts us when our personal principles and values—our boundaries—are being tested
When you are in touch with your inner Love Renegade, you are less likely to compare yourself to others. You exude self-confidence. You come from love and you create love.
How connected are you to your inner Love Renegade?
Do you ever engage with any of the following behaviors?
Compare yourself to others—especially to other women
Obsess over things (and people) that you cannot control
Beat yourself over the head with positive thoughts and affirmations to overpower feelings of worry and fear
Run conversations over and over again in your mind to find where you or the other person “went wrong”
Feel energetically and emotionally heavy when it comes to passion or relationships
Experience frustration with relationships and other people
Feel regret for past choices
Tell yourself that if only that person could change, things would be so much better
If you have engaged in any of the above, you are not alone! Many of us go through times like this. There is an ebb and flow to life—especially when it comes to emotions. Sometimes, we feel great and on top of the world and other times, we are just trying to get through the day. It happens.
But know this, the behaviors are your heart’s way of asking you to get in touch with your own personal power, your soul. Connecting with inner Love Renegade can help you do that!
Let’s connect with your inner Love Renegade right now. Here is how:
Write out three things that you do not like about yourself.
Do not make these about accomplishments that you have not accomplished or goals that you have not yet achieved.
Make these about personality traits that you do not like—you know, the things that you try to keep under wraps when you first start dating—the things that peak out after a month of dating…OR they can be things about you from your past.
NO, WE ARE NOT BEING MEAN HERE! We are being real. When we are real, we get to free ourselves from any situation that no longer serves us.
And we are going to do just that with a little alchemy. 🙂
I’ll go first:
I am a giant cry-baby.
At times, I obsess over things/people that I care about.
And (this is one is very embarrassing) I can be a little (ok sometimes very) arrogant.
Don’t I sound like a prize!?!?! Lol 🙂
Now it is time for some practical alchemy. Let’s transform those flaws into the gold that they are:
I am sensitive.
I am passionate.
I really, really care and because I care so much, I get to implement the art of “live and let live” on a daily basis!! 🙂 And guess what? Life is soooooo much more fun that way!!!
Oh and about the arrogance thing…That has to do with caring so much that sometimes my ego will protect my heart with arrogance…I know that that when the arrogance creeps up, my heart is hurt. When my heart is hurt, I get to address that and heal that within myself.
But what does your self-love alchemy formula look like? What gold will you create from your alchemical lead or flaws?
Whenever I find myself feeling a little down, my inner Love Renegade reminds me that I have a choice to transform my fear or pain into my biggest asset and greatest opportunity.
Self-awareness is sexy.
I mean think about it. If you can OWN the things about yourself that on the surface “aren’t too great,” then you have so much power. You do not have to worry about being “found out.” There is really nothing that anyone could say to you that would hurt your feelings. You do not have to hide your less desirable qualities or let them get the better of you. Instead you can use it to your advantage, and create some really loving results.