I know it has been a while since we have connected. Truthfully, I have been in deep reflection. Even though I love my contemplation, I genuinely missed connecting with you! I did not reach out because I did not really have anything to say, but now I have something to share with you…It’s about trust. More specifically, self-trust, that sometimes elusive treasure that some of us never find.
Before I go any further, I want to disclose something. Trust—-particularly self-trust—has notoriously been a big deal for me. I used to be someone who was petrified of making a mistake. I used to be someone who was reluctant to move forward without proof. I used to check in with other people about what decisions I “should” make. These choices went right along with who was “safe” to love and what I needed to do to keep myself from being hurt.
Why did I do this? Well, being a psychic little kid, I had a very *different* perception of what was going on. I would see things—-fairies, spirits, scary things, colors around people. I would know things—-things I was not supposed to know and did not know I was not supposed to know. I would feel people’s feelings in my body. I did not know what to make of my experiences, but one thing I knew for sure was that it was NOT what my family and friends were experiencing. I decided that I was wrong and I wanted to keep my perceptions a secret. I was successful at this for many, many years…Until I wasn’t.
I will get into all of that another time, but for now: doesn’t it make sense why I would not trust myself? After all, I had no external support or validation and I decided from a very young age that my experiences were wrong. This choice allowed me to constantly give my power away to other people—-my power away to my lovers, my friends, my family, and any authority figure. Looking back, it was what was normal, but now living in that reality would be a perfectly self-created hell.
Ever since I chose to trust myself, I began to listen to myself intently. I saw that much of what I perceived was not the norm. Instead of getting discouraged as I did as a small child and again as a person with low self-esteem, I now see that my unconventional way of seeing things—-not just seeing ghosts and auras—-is what really allows me to serve other people. Here is what I have found to be true about trust:
- Trust has nothing to do with guarantees and trust comes with a different type of certainty.
- Trust has nothing to do with whether or not things will go “according to plan.”
- Trust is complete liberation and ownership of my life, my intentions, and my manifestations.
For me, trust is about accepting my own inner wisdom, stating my intention, and moving forward with an open heart.
Have you ever wondered what your life and what your relationships would be like if you trusted yourself completely? What would you do more or less of?