Learning to navigate conflict effectively [and with love, trust, and confidence] has been a massive part of my path. In the past, when I felt conflict, I would seek to release it as quickly as possible—usually by getting into an argument or shutting down completely.
Over the years, I realized that my former approach—while completely understandable—lacked diplomacy. I am so energetically sensitive, feel and see everything, and pride myself on radical honesty.
In the past, I did not have the tools or experience that I do now. I did not know how to effectively manage my psychic energy and empathy.
As we approach this solar eclipse today, which spotlights conflict in our relationships, I wanted to offer you some of what I have learned over the years.
1.) Things take time to resolve.
The waiting period between the conflict and the resolution will take however long it needs to take. Waiting can be uncomfortable—especially when we are ready to put something behind us—but the sooner we accept that things happen with Divine Timing and not Junior’s Timing [Junior is the word we use for ego], the more open and allowing we are for healing and reconciliation.
2.) It’s OK to “Be Wrong.”
When we are in conflict, it is easy to see the other person as the “bad guy” and us as either the “good guy” or the person who was “right.” Please know that even if you did not do anything wrong, the other person will have their viewpoint and maybe even their agenda. By using empathy to see their side and compassion to see your part in the situation, you allow healing to take place and step into higher octaves of your personal power!
3.) Live and Let Live
Sometimes, a relationship, the role you play in it, or the dynamic within it has run its course. Endings are not always easy and clean. Often, they are messy and heartbreaking and come with a grieving process.
Most of us try not to feel those painful emotions by spiritual bypassing, denial, or hiding behind our anger and self-righteousness. Some of us believe it’s up to us to “save the relationship” and “be the better person.”
When we are in any of these places, we stifle our growth—which can prevent amazing circumstances and people from entering our lives! If you can let go, you allow yourself to grow into who you want to be. Whether or not the other person joins you on your journey is their choice.
4.) Acknowledge how your ideals and standards may be holding you back.
Our juniors may think we cannot move on or be at peace within ourselves until another person takes accountability or apologizes for how things unfolded. If we get some apology, acknowledgment, or olive branch, our juniors may deem it insufficient.
Even though we may doubt the other person’s sincerity, we can still choose whether to carry the burden of the conflict or to put it down. You do not need their apology at all.
If you happen to get one, my advice is to graciously accept it and move on with your life. You do not have to carry the burden of both the conflict and your judgment of their apology—that is a lot to carry! Instead, replenish yourself by releasing the burden and putting your energy towards yourself, your healing, and something fun and productive!
We are responsible for our peace and whether or not we grow from the conflict. The other person’s actions—however hurtful, inappropriate, or harmful— have already impacted us. Please understand that the more we hold onto the pain and expect something different, the longer the distance between us and peace.
5.) It actually has nothing to do with them.
Resolution and moving on have nothing to do with the other person, whether they accept our apology, forgive us, or ever acknowledge their part in it. Healing occurs when we let go, step into our wholeness, and approach conflict in new ways.
We begin to see the situation and our role in it.
We acknowledge how our way of approaching conflict may have inhibited our growth.
We accept that the other person may have untrue ideas about us and let them go, trusting our experience over what they may or may not think of us.
We start to pay attention to ourselves by noticing how our actions impact others and how theirs influence us.
6.) Give yourself a break!
Being a person is really, really challenging—especially during such a high conflict time! It is so easy to get wrapped up in drama, feel the pain of the world, and beat ourselves up. No matter what kind of conflict or drama you may be experiencing, remember to be gentle and kind with yourself. The more compassionate you are with yourself, the more peace you can cultivate within yourself. On the days that you judge yourself for “not doing a good job,” take that as a new moment to love and accept yourself. Celebrate yourself for how far you have come, take a break, and then keep going.
OK, so that is all for now! There is so much more to say, but we all have lives to attend to! Thank you for reading!
