by lauren | Jan 7, 2016 | Uncategorized
It happens time and time again. Beautiful and success people, mainly women, are driving themselves crazy. Right now, you might be thinking, “oh I don’t think you are talking to me. I am not that successful.” Let me assure you that nothing could be further from the truth!
(Or maybe you are the opposite and you have it all together. If this is the case, awesome job! No need to read any further. )
But if you sometimes feel like you are in a self-esteem slump, know this: you are different. The success that you have radiates beyond conventional success. For instance, I am sure that you are the person of whom many of your friends—and maybe even strangers—seek out when they have an issue. They want to talk to you because they trust you. You have beautiful energy. You give great advice. You have a comforting, no-bullshit attitude.
Here’s the thing though…You are probably pretty hard on yourself. Just because you are not traveling the world yet or just because you do not live in your Barbie dream house (just kidding) yet, you think that you are not “good enough.”
Maybe you feel like you are incomplete because you just can’t seem to “get it right” in the love department. Maybe you have been searching for “Mr. Right” and he is nowhere to be found. Maybe the seemingly “perfect” guy turns out to be a fatal attraction or he is NOT the image he portrayed so well on dates one, two, and three…Maybe you did not even get to date number one.
Whatever it is, keep these truths in mind:
Truth 1- There is no RIGHT way to do anything.
When I first embraced this, I remember feeling both relieved and terrified. I was relieved because I have always had a rebellious streak, but terrified…because WOW…Now what?!!?
Truth 2- It is NOT your fault. Truthfully, there is no “perfect” person and Mr. Right does not exist.
He does not exist because that is an illusion—ok maybe a delusion—given to us from the media. Everyone has his/her flaws.
In fact, what we perceive as flaws, might just be our most attractive and dynamic quality.
Let me explain…Each one of us has our own inner Love Renegade. Accepting these two truths allowed me to connect more and more deeply with my own inner Love Renegade. Your Love Renegade is the part of you who:
- Urges you to break the rules and color outside the lines.
- Radiates beauty and confidence—she trusts that when she comes from love, she creates love—within and around her.
- Speaks to us in ways that cause our heart to open and for our courage to take over when we feel vulnerable
- Ignites a spark in you to be your highest potential
- Alerts us when our personal principles and values—our boundaries—are being tested
When you are in touch with your inner Love Renegade, you are less likely to compare yourself to others. You exude self-confidence. You come from love and you create love.
How connected are you to your inner Love Renegade?
Do you ever engage with any of the following behaviors?
- Compare yourself to others—especially to other women
- Obsess over things (and people) that you cannot control
- Beat yourself over the head with positive thoughts and affirmations to overpower feelings of worry and fear
- Run conversations over and over again in your mind to find where you or the other person “went wrong”
- Feel energetically and emotionally heavy when it comes to passion or relationships
- Experience frustration with relationships and other people
- Feel regret for past choices
- Tell yourself that if only that person could change, things would be so much better
If you have engaged in any of the above, you are not alone! Many of us go through times like this. There is an ebb and flow to life—especially when it comes to emotions. Sometimes, we feel great and on top of the world and other times, we are just trying to get through the day. It happens.
But know this, the behaviors are your heart’s way of asking you to get in touch with your own personal power, your soul. Connecting with inner Love Renegade can help you do that!
Let’s connect with your inner Love Renegade right now. Here is how:
- Write out three things that you do not like about yourself.
- Do not make these about accomplishments that you have not accomplished or goals that you have not yet achieved.
- Make these about personality traits that you do not like—you know, the things that you try to keep under wraps when you first start dating—the things that peak out after a month of dating…OR they can be things about you from your past.
NO, WE ARE NOT BEING MEAN HERE! We are being real. When we are real, we get to free ourselves from any situation that no longer serves us.
And we are going to do just that with a little alchemy. 🙂
I’ll go first:
- I am a giant cry-baby.
- At times, I obsess over things/people that I care about.
- And (this is one is very embarrassing) I can be a little (ok sometimes very) arrogant.
Don’t I sound like a prize!?!?! Lol 🙂
Now it is time for some practical alchemy. Let’s transform those flaws into the gold that they are:
- I am sensitive.
- I am passionate.
- I really, really care and because I care so much, I get to implement the art of “live and let live” on a daily basis!! 🙂 And guess what? Life is soooooo much more fun that way!!!
- Oh and about the arrogance thing…That has to do with caring so much that sometimes my ego will protect my heart with arrogance…I know that that when the arrogance creeps up, my heart is hurt. When my heart is hurt, I get to address that and heal that within myself.
But what does your self-love alchemy formula look like? What gold will you create from your alchemical lead or flaws?
Whenever I find myself feeling a little down, my inner Love Renegade reminds me that I have a choice to transform my fear or pain into my biggest asset and greatest opportunity.
Self-awareness is sexy.
I mean think about it. If you can OWN the things about yourself that on the surface “aren’t too great,” then you have so much power. You do not have to worry about being “found out.” There is really nothing that anyone could say to you that would hurt your feelings. You do not have to hide your less desirable qualities or let them get the better of you. Instead you can use it to your advantage, and create some really loving results.
by lauren | Dec 28, 2015 | Uncategorized
This time of year, many of us find ourselves in a funk. We feel at odds with ourselves for what we have or have not experienced or attracted.
If you have been reflecting on your life lately, you are definitely not alone. So many of us are looking at our life, our relationships, and what we have or have not accomplished or experienced throughout the past year.
We can get down on ourselves and glum. We can beat ourselves up—telling ourselves that we are not “there” yet. What’s funny is, more often than not, we do not even know where “there” is.
Seriously, “there” is often a place that we feel we should go. If we are not “there,” we make ourselves feel guilty for not attracting or manifesting it yet.
Is “there” a place that you feel you should be by now? Have you ever told yourself that by now, you should have:
- Found true love
- Taken that trip to Europe
- Stood up to the office bully
- Told your partner the truth
- Written that book
- Gotten healthy
- Healed your broken heart
- Followed your dreams
Listen, there are so many things that you can fault yourself for not having or doing. There are so many opportunities to be mean and critical of yourself.
This does not have to be the case. Let’s look at this another way…
If your heart is yearning or longing or craving something different from what you currently have, know that you are NOT alone. As humans, we are always looking for a better experience or the next best thing.
You are a bit different though. You are a soul-driven person. You are sensitive and have a big heart.
As soul-driven people, we have a passion in us. It is a spark that can ignite change and be a catalyst for transformation. It is also that healing light inside of you. It is the light inside of you that may seem dull at times, but know this—it never goes out!! For this reason:
- Your sense of longing might feel so much more substantial than the average person’s.
- You feel things so deeply.
- You believe in miracles.
- You feel sad and hopeless at times because you are not experiencing these miracles…
Even if you have a good relationship, there might be a part of you that feels it could be better. Even if you are at peace with being single, there might be a part of you that secretly yearns for a relationship that reflects your soul’s magic.
Instead of dwelling in your sadness and fixating on what you do not have right now, I want to invite you to give yourself a more joyful experience.
It is very simple.
It starts by doing something that you love.
See, life feels so delicious when we get to do what we love. And it gets really, really good when we get to spend it with people we love. And it gets really over-the-top good when we are true to ourselves.
I have a theory that really isn’t anything that you have not heard before. It goes a little something like this:
- When we do what we love doing, we feel great.
- When we feel great, we uplift our self-confidence and self-esteem.
- When we are confident in ourselves, we are attractive and clear.
- When we are attractive and clear, we attract experiences that we love.
What do you love doing that you could easily do right now or in the very near future?
For me, it’s cooking. I love cooking. The experience of playing with spices and flavors, and dancing with textures. The excitement of someone saying, “Wait, is this really a vegan dish? Is this seriously gluten-free?” It is all so deeply Divine to me.
I have found a lot of love in the kitchen. It is a therapy for me. It gets me out of whatever funk I am in. It is a way that I love myself though nurturing my body. It is a way that I love others through making them delicious healthful food.
When I am cooking, I do not think about my problems, someone else’s problems, or the world’s problems. It is a window of time when I am truly present—where I am focused on creating something where I enjoy myself in the process.
I have noticed that it is often when we are in this place of love and being present, we are truly open and free to receiving love in all of its many forms.
See, when we are so focused thinking about what we do not have or dwelling on our problems, we can get overwhelmed. It can be very difficult to come from a loving, clear, and grounded place. Sometimes, we might be so flooded that we either sit on the fence and/or self-sabotage in a number of ways. We keep ourselves confined to a very limited and stagnant and fearful reality.
For a grounded and real-world example, let’s talk about heartbreak or unrequited love. Sometimes we really want to make someone love us. We may play a video over and over again in our mind about what happened and where we went wrong or they went wrong in the relationship. We can torment ourselves with this…This can cause us to self-soothe in ways that cause us to feel worse about ourselves…It can cause us to lament the problem instead of focusing on the solution.
We do this often because the solution is so out of reach. We want a quick fix…We do not want to feel helpless. The best way out of this is to choose to do something that you love doing and where you do not take yourself too seriously.
Again, for me it is the kitchen. I used to tell my husband that if I approached every challenge in the way that I handle myself in the kitchen I would be free of pain and worry.
So right now if you feel that you are stuck or unmotivated or fearful, I urge you to do something that you enjoy doing. This can be coloring, drawing a picture, doing yoga, writing a poem, volunteering, going on a walk, sending a person that you love a card, etc. Whatever it is, choose something that you can do right now.
No excuses! 🙂
by lauren | Dec 20, 2015 | Uncategorized
The Solstice, the darkest day of the year is upon us. From a purely physical and superficial perspective (and using the words of Blog.Dictionary.com) it is a time in which the sun touches down upon the southernmost point of the Earth’s equator.
Let’s take a moment to really feel into this from a place of love and wisdom with the gifts of symbols and sight.
The Solstice encompasses darkness and light. The opposite of darkness is light. The Sun is the ultimate source of light on our planet.
Right now, I invite you to go deep with me…
Picture your entire body and everything that you are experiencing (the status of your relationships, your choice of career, your financial circumstances, and your overall health) as the Earth.
Your Soul is the Sun.
Your Soul is a source of Divine Light. Without your soul, your body would not exist. Without the Sun, the Earth would not exist. (Your Soul is an integral part of who you are!)
Your Heart represents the bridge—the atmosphere between these two worlds: heaven and Earth, soul and body. Your heart:
- Communicates with you through your emotions, passions, and feelings
- Shows you who you are through your most intimate relationships
- Signifies your relationships: your intimate relationships, friendship, your relationship with yourself and the Universe.
- Sheds light on your passions, creativity, and of course: your relationships.
Through the heart, you will know how a situation feels. You will know your passions.
If your heart is blocked:
- You will feel depressed, heartbroken, devoid of creativity.
- Your relationships will not satisfy you.
- You will feel empty.
It is not uncommon to put up walls around heart. Some of us even choose to put up barbed wire while others wear their heart’s wounds loud and proud. As another form of pushing love away, they will speak often of their suffering, wearing their pain as a badge of honor, to anyone who will listen.
Your heart is the gateway to healing your love life and aligning your life to match your Soul’s true magic.
The Solstice calls for healing, introspection, and spiritual growth. If you desire a love life that reflects your Soul’s true magic, you are being guided use this time to heal your heart from the inside out by conducting major soul-level healing and through mastering your relationship karma.
Karma is simply a matter of choice and consequence. Every choice you make has a consequence. Your love life as it is right at this moment is a consequence of choices that you have made. This does not mean that you or anyone else is to blame. It simply means that if you desire a new reality, you can do this through healing your heart and making new choices.
When we master our relationship karma, we do so without attempting to control another person. We realize that just as the Earth is our body, the Sun is our Soul, the heart is healed when we love and embrace ourselves and others as whole complete. We do this by tuning into our heart and listening.
Get started by answering the following questions:
- What does your dream relationship/love life look and feel like?
- On a scale of one to 10, with one being the lowest and 10 being the highest, how fulfilled are you in your love life? (How much of your current love life mirrors your dream relationship?)
It is essential that you choose to be completely honest when answering these questions.
Once you allow your heart into your life, the Universe will give you plenty of opportunities to heal your heart. It will do this in the form of bringing people and circumstances into your experience that are not pleasing to you.
If you are not experiencing anything like that at this moment, think back to times through which you have declared that something “always” or “never” happen to you in your relationships and love life.
Now you get to look to look at how you respond to these less-than-satisfactory circumstances.
If your go-to is to just walk away or never talk to that person again, maybe it is time for a new approach.
If your go-to is to lose control and send text after text with each one becoming more and more increasingly nasty as you fail to hear back from them, maybe it is time for a new strategy.
How long will you let these patterns hold you hostage?
Right now, notice how you feel. Tired? Numb? Judgmental? Angry? Are you dismissing this information as something that you never do or may have done years ago, but not something that you would do now?
This is actually the mind coming to your heart’s rescue.
Your mind is simply responding as it would to any intruder. Divine Truth, Light, and Love can be unwelcome visitors. They are unwelcome as aligning to these usually come with impending changes.
Let me explain:
See, just as your body signifies the Earth, the Sun represents your Soul and the Divine, your Heart symbolizes love. This love comes in the form of relationships, creativity, and healing.
The Mind is in another realm. It symbolizes an external authority figure—the protective older brother or warrior—of the heart. The Mind represents the man-made laws and structures we have on our planets. Its job is to keep the heart “in-check” and keep the heart safe.
The Heart is the gateway, the bridge, between Heaven (our Soul and the Divine) and Earth (our body and physical/superficial circumstances.) Often times, the Soul’s wisdom’s and heart’s desires go against the man-made structures and systems—the status quo—here on Earth.
When we get our heart broken, the Mind responds with either wanting to protect the Heart by attempting to control it. But your heart is a rebel. It is the keeper of your Soul’s magic. It represents change as it lets you know when you are out of alignment with your desires and with your Soul/Divine.
According to the Mind—who has fought very hard to control you and keep you safe and secure—the heart cannot be trusted. It must be stopped and controlled…If the heart had its freedom, it might urge you to make changes—changes that your mind does not want you to make!!
Think about it:
If you truly allowed yourself to connect with your heart—if you honestly allowed yourself to go deep and told yourself the truth—your heart could very well show you how your current way-of-life, your relationships, your life circumstances are NOT representative of your soul’s magic or your highest potential.
Picture a jail cell with just a little bit of light trickling in through the bars on the windows. This is the Solstice—that sliver of the Sun/the Divine and your Soul—shedding light on what is most kept in shadow.
This jail cell might even represent your life, your relationships…It is anything that keeps you in a box or feeling limited. Have you ever found yourself starting any sentence with:
- “I can’t do this because______”
- “Well no one is really able to have their dream relationship. That is just wishful thinking!”
If your answer is yes, then perhaps you are living in your own symbolic prison right now. Perhaps you are allowing your mind to hold your heart hostage and your physical circumstances (your relationships, personal fulfillment, etc) are reflecting this choice.
Your rebel heart wants to heal. It wants to break free of this prison! You can ignore your heart as much as you want, but get this: if you do not listen to it, your shadow might step in on its behalf.
As the darkest day of the year, the Solstice calls our attention to the shadow. Our shadow is what we do not want to see or cannot see but yet it continues to follow us around relentlessly.
We can recognize the shadow is observing self-sabotage patterns of others. If you can see these patterns in someone else, then your shadow is calling you to look inward at your own negative habits, or actions that cause you to feel powerless. This is any type of addiction—whether to substances or beating yourself up with how you talk to yourself and treat yourself. Your shadow might also cause some drama for you.
Your shadow represents the parts of you that you cannot see, your secrets, or what you hope that others do not see. The shadow makes itself known through self-sabotage and relationship sabotaging behaviors. Examples of relationship-sabotaging behaviors include lashing out, blaming others, projecting your fears on others, stopping all communication without warning, texting obsessively, cheating, and any kind of neglect or abuse.
When you find yourself engaging in these behaviors or when you strongly observe in someone else, ask yourself:
- What am I afraid of?
- How am I keeping myself from experiencing love and joy?
As the Solstice is a very introspective and emotional time with lots of big healing energy being conjured up, let’s talk about emotion…
As our heart is the gateway between heaven and Earth, it is going to communicate with us through our feelings and emotions.
Emotions that we would often categorize as “negative” can be wonderful indicators of healing and new choices that we get to make to create a loving reality that we desire.
For instance, anger is a sign that the heart is begging to be heard and freed from its prison. Use the mind, your own inner warrior, to by using this anger to create positive changes in your life. If you are feeling angry or holding a grudge against someone, your heart can very well be alerting you to set some loving boundaries for the upcoming year.
Another “negative” emotion, resentment lets us know that the heart has a desire that it is afraid to ask for. It may point to that we want someone else to give us permission to have the experience that we want.
These can be unpleasant emotions to feel and many of may try to push these emotions away at all costs. They are told that it is not spiritual to have these feelings. For the Solstice, listen to your heart’s wisdom and transmute these “negative” emotions into creating positive outcomes for yourself and your relationships.
Your shadow can also shed light on your most powerful attributes or parts of your heart and your soul that are begging to be heard and acknowledged. Your shadow can communicate with you through these “negative” emotions. It could very well be begging you to see yourself in a new light and to allow yourself to heal and manifest the loving experience that you deeply desire.
Pure joy and fulfillment are other emotions through which we feel when we perceive ourselves as being one with our Soul.
We may feel bits of this without having a life and relationships that mirrors our heart’s desires or our soul’s inner magic, but in order to really change our physical circumstances, it is essential that we are willing to dig deep and free our heart from our self-imposed prison.
Remember, your heart is a rebel. When you can unite your heart with your soul, you stand the chance of unleashing your inner Love Renegade.
Your inner Love Renegade challenges you to dismantle and destroy any limiting beliefs and circumstances that keep you in the status quo. It is an aspect of your highest potential that you embrace through healing your heart and mastering your love life.
A Love Renegade is someone who:
- Embraces her shadow
- Listens to her heart
- Has the guts to create a life that reflects her soul’s true magic
- Breaks free of the status quo destroy all illusions and limitations
If you choose to listen to your heart, you stand the chance of putting your mind on the defensive. Therefore, healing and creating with your inner Love Renegade is not for everyone. The battle between the mind (man-made structures, rules, and laws) is not for the faint-of-heart.
Will you live your life as you have been living it? Will you stay in your prison? Or will you commit fully and completely to healing your heart, creating your dream relationship, and embracing your highest potential?
When we do not make a choice, we put ourselves in a very painful position. Through making a choice, you are choosing to love yourself.
If you choose to embrace your inner Love Renegade over this Winter Soltice, then I invite you to take it one step further have a Love Renegade Connection Session with me.
For 2016, I am taking applications to work with me one-on-one or to be a part of my group coaching program. This is for deep heart-healing and soul-inspiring Love Renegade work.
This session allows us to get to know each other and shed light on how I can assist you in making 2016 your year to heal your heart, master your relationship karma, embrace your highest potential, and shine. Apply for session by clicking here.
