The Powerful Thing about Breakups
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What is your relationship with anger like? Do you avoid it? Do you repress it? Or do you lash out and rage? I grew up in a home where I was not allowed to be angry and where I was often the recipient of other people’s anger. It was really uncomfortable and confusing!
Over the last decade I have come to see [when experienced in a conscious way] anger is a deeply helpful emotion because it indicates when a boundary has been crossed. In relationships, boundaries are so important! Boundaries allow us to give and receive love in a way that benefits all involved.
Not everyone agrees with this and that’s ok. But here at Love Renegades, part of how we create incredible relationships and lives that we love is by feeling our feelings and setting healthy boundaries– both of which play a huge role in breaking free of the Illusion of Sacrifice too!
Years ago when I realized that this was my truth, I remember feeling angry! I had come across a quote about love and relationships that really pissed me off and inspired a passionate rant!
Watch it here===> https://youtu.be/
See, my relationship coaching and love psychic business was at the beginning of transforming into Love Renegades. I am grateful that the anger I felt has allowed me to deepen my understanding, perspective, and approach regarding the importance of boundaries in relationships and in serving amazing people like you.
Here are some questions for you to explore in your self-care time:
What role is anger playing in your life, your relationships, your dating experience, etc right now? What is no longer working for you? What boundaries are you thinking about setting?
If you are in a different place right now, what boundaries did you set to get you to where you are now?
It’s all such a fun process of self-reflection, isn’t it?!? 🙂
Here is the transcript of the video:
There is something that I really, really want to shed light on. This is about love. Ok really—it is about what love is NOT. More than that it is what so many of us think that love is. I want to give you an example so that I can stop being so freakin’ theoretical here.
OK, I was looking at different quotes about love. I stumbled on this one, and I am just going to be honest. It pissed me off. It’s in line with everything that I want to talk to you about today. It says:
A strong relationship starts with two people who are ready to sacrifice anything for each other.
No! It is not true and absolutely messed up! If somebody tells you that you need to love them by sacrificing for them, then you need to run for the hills!!
BECAUSE THAT IS NOT LOVE!
Love does not put conditions and parameters. That is [the illusion of] control! That is [the illusion] of sacrifice! That is manipulation. That is just some BULLSHIT!
So, if anyone tells you that, then run!! And if you are the person doing that then I ask you, “are you more about controlling people or are you more about love?” Because Love is a creative energy. And if we are sacrificing ourselves or if we expect someone else to sacrifice themselves to show us so that we can tell everyone how “in love” we are with each other, then really…
What comes out of sacrifice? Really nothing comes out of sacrifice. It keeps us stagnant. It keeps us stuck. It keeps us locked in the same patterns!
And Love is a creative energy. Love gives us new opportunities to experience ourselves to express ourselves. To be IN LOVE and ENGAGES with our lives!
So sacrifice is a love myth—there is an illusion of sacrifice—that really just ignites something in me! And as a Love Psychic—who a true LOVE RENEGADE— I feel it is my responsibility to shed light on these misconceptions, these illusions of relationship, these love myths.
Watch the video here 👉 https://youtu.be/tZoU5q6esZA
Or read the transcription below…which is fine but you may not fully receive all of the love that is available to you in this healing transmission if you only read about it 👇 👇 👇
Hi, I am Lauren Kay Wyatt. I am an Intuitive Coach, the founder of Love Renegades, and the Creator of the Illusions of Relationship™ system.
Today I want to connect with you about the Illusion of Sacrifice. The Illusion of Sacrifice is one of the Illusions of Relationship that causes you to disconnect from your own needs and to be completely tuned into the people around you. For example, you would intuit your partner’s needs, your friends needs, your children’s needs, but that you would be completely disconnected when it comes to your own needs.
While it is a beautiful thing to be so caring and loving and while it is a super power to know other people’s needs, the dysfunctional side of it is being codependent and to really expect other people to give you what you give them–when one of your super powers is giving.
So what will really support you in breaking free of the Illusion of Sacrifice is making a commitment to connect with your own heart and to treat yourself the way that you treat other people by tending to your own needs.
Now this may take some deep self-reflective work that might feel kind of scary. I encourage you to be courageous. At Love Renegades we say Courage is the Vehicle of Love. I encourage you to really go for it.
Go for it in getting to know yourself and in getting to love yourself. Explore those shadows so that you can break free and be free and so that other people will love you the way that you love them and so that you can even have a higher level of that ideal.
Watch the video here: https://youtu.be/UKHPXFckIjw
**A slightly modified transcription is given below. Please know that the healing transmission of this video does not come out as fully from the transcription.**
Today we are shedding light on the Illusion of Control, the first of the Illusions of Relationship™. Just like what its name feels and and sounds like, really creates contraction with control.
The control can be aggressive such actively and obviously trying to control other people. The control can look covert as well.
Either way, you want to control the future by wanting to know exactly what is going to happen and when it is going to happen. This Illusion of Relationship™ really takes you away from your heart and it throws you out of sync with Love by its relentless need to control. This is micromanaging of the creative process of the heart chakra.
For people who have the Illusion of Control as their main Illusion of Relationship™, the best advice is to you is to work on opening your heart and trusting Life. Being authentic and vulnerable is a huge part of this as well—doing this in a powerful honest way—where you can put it out there to the Universe (as an intention) and really attract people into your life who can be safely be your soft side with and who is safe to let your guard down with.
This allows Love to lead the way.
You are invited to reflect on this message with the following questions:
1.) In what ways do I seek and exhibit control in my relationships?
2.) How do I try to control myself and others?
3.) What might happen if I followed the advice given to me in the video?
Being an empath is beautiful. Being able to connect so deeply with another and be able to feel their emotions is a beautiful gift. The problem is when we are experiencing the less desirable aspects of being so sensitive such as feeling depleting or not realizing that the pain you are feeling is not even your own. In this video, you will gain insight into how you can replenish your energy.
Watch here: https://youtu.be/Z9sxHiv4pWA
In this video, I shed light on the Illusion of Sacrifice, one of the six Illusions of Relationship™.
The Law of Drama is the Law of Relationship™ that separates us from love with dramatic experiences, over-reactions, resentments, and mistaking our [very loud] feelings for our intuition.
To break the Law of Drama we must accept that when we take steps toward transforming our circumstances—either in attracting our ideal partner, healing our broken hearts, enhancing our current relationship, or in up-leveling other parts of our lives—we are making a conscious choice to instigate change our lives.
When we choose to change, Drama knocks on our door ready to support us with the transformation we desire.
Most of us, when we experience drama, get lost in negative loops of thought and emotion. This may cause us to abandon our plans for transformation and to sabotage our progress. We may tell ourselves that we are not on the right path. We may doubt everything that we used to feel so strongly about before. Those of us who choose to break the law of drama, transcend the drama by rising above it.
See how this plays out in this “Law of Drama Case Study” with Lauren Wenzell. Lauren is a courageous, sensitive soul who writes beautiful poetry (you can check out her work on Instagram at @laurenspeacefulpoetry) and who works with children with autism. This time last year Lauren came face-to-face with the Law of Drama when her father died and just a mere few days later her longterm boyfriend broke up with her!
Watch to find out how she found her power in one of the hardest (and certainly most dramatic) times of her life here=====> https://youtu.be/bGfGcN1SSIE