[Lunar Eclipse Story] Power of Release

by | Mar 27, 2024 | illusion of drama

You may have heard that we are in the midst of a lunar eclipse. This means you may have noticed the presence of relationship drama and emotional conflict—whether in your life or those close to you!

Even though this is pretty uncomfortable, celebrate that you are becoming increasingly aware of what is no longer working within yourself, your life, and within your relationships. You feel the pull to redefine yourself and choose who you want to be.

If you feel like things are messy right know, remember that each of us is an expression of the Divine. As Divine beings, we are offered the opportunity for transformation, and transformation makes a Divine Mess (ahem, masterpiece) of all of us! 

The Illusion of Drama is the archetype of change. Change can feel chaotic and dramatic, but know that if you are on a path of transformation and growth, you cannot avoid it! It’s inevitable, but how you choose to respond to change determines whether or not the Illusion of Drama holds you back. When we resist change, we make things much more difficult!

When we are on a path of transformation, we usually feel the urge to succumb to Junior (my word for ego) and doubt ourselves. We can “feel bad” for making tough decisions and beat ourselves up for things not going smoothly. 

This lunar eclipse urges us to free ourselves from the drama by letting go, moving on, and trusting. 

I’ll give an example by sharing a story of my own…

In 2018, I made an unpopular and powerful decision: I stopped talking to my mother. This was an extremely difficult choice, but I knew deep within the core of my being that it had to be done.

Over the years, I would receive feedback that I was cruel to do such a thing—that my choice was causing others—not just my mother—to suffer. I was told that I lacked compassion. Some said, “How can you call yourself a relationship expert and not have a good relationship with your mother?”  

[Of course, my Junior totally brought these things to my attention as well—which is why I attracted this feedback from others! Oh, Junior!]

To break through the Illusion of Drama, I would remind myself that I am NOT an “ordinary relationship expert;” I am a Love Renegade. Being a doormat and allowing someone to treat me poorly is way more “out of integrity” than having an inauthentic shell of a relationship that “society” would approve of! 

As I look back at what happened, I see that my choice allowed me to practice radical self-trust and self-compassion. I advocated for myself and chose to trust that what I was doing was a love-based choice that would assist all involved. Instead of trying to fit into some illusion of a social norm that suffocates and confines us all, I rebelled—trusting that my choice would assist all of us in having healthier, more authentically satisfying relationships!

During the time apart, I healed my heart, reclaimed my power through loving myself through all the messy emotions, deepened my relationship with the Divine, and even explored—on a highly practical level—what it meant to forgive, heal, and move forward. 

Fast-forward—my mom and I have reconnected and are on excellent terms. Our relationship is supportive, honest, and authentic. We each took responsibility for the fallout and have returned better than ever. 

Healing is the highest form of rebellion! I share this to inspire you to trust yourself and your messy process! 

Trust that if you want to tap into your highest potential, have amazing relationships, and achieve great things—you may need to let something or someone go—whether it’s a person, a relationship dynamic, or a “bad habit.” It can mean choosing to see through illusion and endure the discomfort of making positive choices.

Likewise, if you are on the receiving end of a conflict—for instance, if you are the person who is broken up with or left behind—choose to accept that even though this is emotionally painful, not having that person in your life or having that boundary in place serves you, too. Let this propel you to new heights of healing, wholeness, and empowerment. Trust that if you are meant to reconnect, you will. Know that it could be better than it was before! 

For either side and no side at all, trust the process and love yourself. Navigate with love, trust, and confidence by embracing change and choosing to grow!

Maneuvering an Emotional Chokehold

by | Sep 8, 2021 | achievement, best relationships, boundaries, coaching questions, dealing with drama, empath heart healing, empaths in relationships, Empowerment from Relationship Trauma, Empowerment in relationships, fear of intimacy, Healing Negative Emotions, illusion of absorption, illusion of drama, illusion of relationship, illusion of satisfaction, love relationship consciousness, love renegades, mistaken thinking, relationship challenges, self-love in relationships, spiritual relationship advice for women, Uncategorized, validation seeking

As a Love and Relationship Psychic and Coach, I have the pleasure of connecting with people about their love lives and relationships.  Recently, I felt inspired by a client’s session and received Divine Guidance (and her permission) to share this with you. 

She is a beautiful, vibrant woman. Highly intelligent, successful, and quite kind.  She is the type of person many of us would see and think, “Her life is perfect. She has it all figured out.”

The reality is that she has been in an emotionally abusive romantic relationship for three years too long. 

She has told herself that she can fix it—that if she could just “be better” and “work harder,” then her partner would be happy—and that maybe the relationship would one day be what she has always wanted it to be.

In this relationship, she often experiences feeling devalued, dismissed, wrong, and anxious. She is not treated with love and respect. Many times, she has wanted to leave but has chosen to stay. She is losing confidence.

Does anything about her story feel familiar to you?   As someone who loves to identify and dismantle illusions that separate us from Love, which I call the Illusions of Relationship™—I am excited to shed light on this common situation with a Love Renegade’s perspective, starting with mistaken thinking.

My client’s mistaken thinking was such that she believed that “being better” was going to going to lead to new enjoyable experiences in her relationship. Her motivation for “being better” was with the expectation that her [former] partner would like her more or treat her better. Although completely understandable, this approach is not only manipulative but also a form of self-deception.

The mistaken thinking at play here aligns fully with the Illusions of Relationship™, but not with Love. If continued, actions made from such thinking would result in more opportunities to deceive and be deceived, more reasons to stay stuck, and more dissatisfaction in relationships—causing a lot of pain and frustration!

Now back to my client—-in addition to being gorgeous and successful—she is a martial artist. In her coaching session, her Guides and I directed her to apply martial arts to this common relationship dynamic.  From this exercise, she uncovered that her [former] partner’s “signature move” against her was a chokehold-—which made perfect sense for her!

See, the throat is the energy center of communication, authenticity, and self-expression.  When we have blocks on our throat chakra, we are experiencing difficulty in speaking or living our truth.  Nothing about this relationship really supported her in shining as her authentic self!

As we continued the session, I watched her throat chakra heal as she connected with her inner Love Renegade. As she saw the enlightened truth before her, she embraced a new perspective that will support her in breaking free of an emotional chokehold and the Illusions of Relationship™.   

Of course, without being consciously aware of it, many of us unknowingly allow ourselves to be put into emotional chokeholds. For your own healing and illumination, I encourage you to spend some time with the following questions: 
 

  • What would I do or say if I felt more trusting and confident? 
  • Is there anywhere in my relationship or life where I am deceiving myself?
  • What part of me wants to shine? 

It’s ok to be unpopular

by | Sep 1, 2021 | best relationships, boundaries, creating intimacy, dating advice for empaths, dating advice for highly sensitive people, dealing with drama, deepening with partner, Empowerment in relationships, illusion of drama, illusion of relationship, illusion of satisfaction, love renegades, relationship challenges, self-love in relationships

I want to speak about popularity and how it impacts our relationships.  As a love and relationship psychic and coach, I get to connect with a wide variety of people about heartbreak, healing, and frustrating experiences they’ve had in their relationships.

From my experience, I notice that there are some of us who would rather be popular and liked, rather than be in an authentic, happy relationship. As someone who takes pleasure in identifying and spotting illusions that separate us from love and cause disruption in our relationships, our dating experience, with our significant others, etc—which I have come to name the Illusions of Relationship™— I got curious about this.

I have seen that for some of us, the thought of fully claiming what we want and daring to be our authentic selves, is an absolutely terrifying endeavor. Bringing this to a person’s attention has, more often than not, led me to be highly unpopular, which I take responsibility for.

I see that many of us are [unconsciously] fond of our Illusions and when questioned, cling on more and more tightly. Even though it is empowering and deeply healing to know when we are in Illusion, it can lead to a lot of fear for someone who is not ready to see themselves and others with eyes of love and truth.

What I feel guided to share with you is that I am willing to be unpopular. Yes, if I am fortunate enough to have you on my mailing list and if I am blessed for you to be a client, then no matter what I will identify misalignments to Truth and I will support you (as best as I can) in having a life and relationships without sacrificing, “selling out,” or settling.

If you have been following me for a while, you will see that I talk about the sacrifice aspect frequently. More recently in my last email about the Illusion of Satisfaction, I touched upon the settling aspect.  Now, it’s time to discuss “selling out.”

Whenever we try to be who someone wants us to be, we are selling out.  It puts us out of alignment with our personal truth and with universal truth.  When we pretend that we are ok for settling for less than what we actually want, when we fail to communicate our needs, we are acting out of fear.  We are, in a way, telling the Universe, “no. no thanks. I may say I want a great relationship, but my actions show you that I am fine with getting crumbs.”  This leads to resentment and it keeps you further from what you actually want.

What I have come to see is that shedding light on Illusion can frustrate and upset people, and you know what? I understand.

It can be very scary to step up and ask for what you want. It can be really intimidating to live life as your true self. For most of us, it is unknown. It is uncertain. We are taught to believe that the unknown is scary and should be avoided at all costs.

This is the journey of a Love Renegade. As courage is the vehicle of love, the Love Renegade chooses to see, heal, and work through Illusions. Love Renegades choose to create their own future based on love and truth, instead of selling out and being who everyone wants them to be.

So today, I send you blessings of courage as you embrace your unique path and dare to create relationships that reflect and support YOU. 

We are Complete

We are Complete

by | Jul 28, 2021 | best relationships, boundaries, coaching questions, creating intimacy, dealing with drama, drama, Empowerment in relationships, fear of intimacy, forgiveness, Free spirit in relationship, illusion of drama, illusion of relationships, love relationship consciousness, love renegades, mistaken thinking, relationship challenges, self-love in relationships, spiritual relationship advice for women, validation seeking

Do you judge others for not giving you the support (ahem, validation) that you would like?  Does a part of you feel that you *need* support from others to be the person you desire to be?

I ask these questions to shed light on Mistaken Thinking where love and support are confused with entitlement and validation.  See, it is normal to seek safety and comfort when you are making changes and making new choices.

What we forget in this process is the Illusion of Drama, the Illusion of Relationship™ that separates us from Love by insisting that drama come with the natural chaos of change.   

When we make changes our environment will react.  By environment I am largely referring to our relationships.  The other person (let’s say your partner, your husband, your adult child, your best friend, etc)  may not be in “like vibration” to the changes you are making and may react as such.  In this instance, it is important that you acknowledge that like you, this person has free will.

Just as you are free to make changes, others are free to react to those changes.  If any part of you is seeking validation and approval and even feels entitled to receiving this so-called unconditional support, all you are really doing is activating the Illusion of Drama by causing yourself unnecessary drama, pain, and agony. 

I bring this up to invite you to acknowledge your own actions, your own intentions, and your own process of initiating change. For example, have you entered into change with a variation of either of the following?  (I have done both!) 

Example A–  You bulldoze forward with an attitude of, “I don’t care what others think! They will have to deal with it!”
Example B– You take action, but you do it in a covert way. It’s like you are living a double life.

Each of the aforementioned situations will inevitably lead to fear because they were initiated with fear.  Not only do both of these actions invite drama, as they amplify the Illusion of Drama, but they also make assumptions, which is a hallmark of the Illusion of Absorption. 

As you grow, it is wise to accept that much like your inner world and our beautiful oceans, your relationships will ebb and flow.  You may find that some of these relationships fall away.  This can be both a time of grief and a time of celebration.

Whether your heart is hurting from a breakup or a series of misunderstandings, choose to know that healing and peace are on the way.  What would happen if you stepped out of a victim mentality and into your own authority?  What would you do differently with all that you learned?  What has the other person taught you about yourself? 

Bless the gifts of these experiences and move on.

We are complete. We are whole. All is well.