There is a difference between doing something new with gusto and trying. When we try, we are unknowingly activating the Illusion of Perfection, one of the Illusions of Relationship™. It’s a heavy energy!
When we try, we act with expectation. We are expecting something to happen. Expecting someone else to do something. This creates a lot of heavy pressure, creating unnecessary obstacles and burdens. It’s draining! It is a lot to carry.
You may think “I am doing everything right! I am trying so hard! Why is this not working?”
Acting from a place of trying energizes the Illusion of Perfection and is a wonderful recipe for frustration, anger, and fatigue. These energies are not attractive when creating a new relationship—one that reflects you! Nor do they magnetize new, enjoyable circumstances in your current relationship!
See, creating a new relationship or a different result in our current relationships—both where we are free to be our true selves—takes love and conscious aligned effort. It is consistently making new choices. It’s committing to show up as the person who has their ideal relationship.
What is your ideal relationship? If you are already in a great relationship, what would make it even better?
When you answer this question, I urge you to keep your answer focused on YOU and not on your partner. Here’s why…
If you watch the the Illusion of Perfection video (which you can do here: https://youtu.be/kf6ZJvdqeG8) you will see that one of the traits of this Illusion is being judgmental and critical. When we want others to be different from who they are, we first must acknowledge the parts of ourselves that are ready for an upgrade.
Does that make sense?
Sending you blessings of divine understanding, trust, and of course: Love.
You can read the transcription below, but it is highly recommended that you watch the video.
What we are going to talk about right now is the Illusion of Perfection. The Illusion of Perfection is the fourth Illusion of Relationship that separates you from Love and disconnects you from your heart by willing you to be absolutely flawless and perfect. This particular Illusion of Relationship causes you to not be yourself. It does this because it keeps you from getting to know your true self. You are constantly plugged in to other peoples’ expectations of you. Now, they might be perceived expectations–projected ones! They may not even be true. A lot of assumptions are made with the Illusion of Perfection. When we are trying for an ideal that is not authentic for us, it puts us out of our brilliance and it makes us inauthentic. This can cause us to attract a lot of situations where we feel like we cannot be ourselves and where we cannot even access ourselves and are genuinely afraid of our potential. Dear one, if this sounds like you, my advice for you is to connect with your heart and set the intention to tap into the creative power, to let your Love Renegade guide you in being yourself, and for you to be courageous enough to put your beautiful heart and enter the world in your own unique way.
I woke up at 4:30 AM with the powerful thing about breakups resonating throughout my being. Instead of going back to sleep I found myself out of bed and on my mediation cushion ready to start the day.
Whether it is a relationship ending or a time in your life changing, many of us have a hard time letting go and moving on. We can internalize the pain. We play out the scenarios and what-if situations over and over again.
How would you feel if you were Person A in this scenario?
Person A: My heart is broken! This relationship is ending!
Person B: Congratulations!! It looks like new changes are unfolding in your life!
Would you find Person B to be really insensitive?
Years ago I hosted an event called “Soul-level Healing for Your Broken Heart.” What I came to see is that the people who attended had different expectations of healing. Instead of wanting to see a higher purpose and meaning and tap into their power, the group had a genuine desire to bask in their heartbreak and be seen for the tragedy they had just endured.
My 2016 self was a little bewildered. But I get it. I really do. Loss of any kind comes with a grieving process that has its own timeline. We all want to be listened to and heard. This is a beautiful and necessary part of healing. We need to acknowledge how we feel, but the issue comes with what happens (or what doesn’t happen) next.
Some of us go into blame and stay there. A few of us will even see the other person as a villain. Again, there is nothing inherently wrong with this. It’s a part of the healing process.
(If you would like some support in feeling at peace, watch my first video on Forgiveness here==> https://youtu.be/dYElv3hoBv0)
The issue comes when you fail to see your power.
Then, there is another scenario. This is the one where we do not want to let go, because we are too afraid of what life would look like without a relationship with that person. Even if we did not like the relationship and verbalized that we wanted something different, we are not quite ready go into the unknown. Instead, we hold on.
Each of these responses to change separates you from your power. A huge part of healing is reclaiming your power.
Here is where the wisdom of your inner Love Renegade comes in…
…What if the circumstance or breakup was ultimately in your highest good?
…What if the presence of the other person, villain or not, gave you the opportunity to set a boundary or uphold a new standard for yourself?
…What if the Universe is guiding you toward having the relationship and circumstances that your heart yearns for?
There is a reason why I chose relationships as my area of specialization. For years I was a magnet for people who wanted me to be someone I was not and who would get really angry and project their own wounding onto me. For so long I felt that something was wrong with me. I held onto these relationships. I worked on myself and turned myself inside out. Then, one day I saw the Truth and set myself free.
In my empowered path of healing, I have chosen to align with my divinity, my soul-level gifts of Divine Wisdom and Divine Love. I have chosen to live my design and free myself from illusion. From this, I have healed my body, enjoy a passionate and healthy relationship with my husband, and nurture loving and supportive relationships.
I also share my love by coaching amazing people in living their Divinity and freeing themselves from the Illusions of Relationship™. It’s been a huge journey. I treasure the sacred work I get to do with my clients, whether it is for one conversation or years of sessions. I am deeply grateful.
Over the years I have found that every relationship shows us how important it is to love yourself and know your power. When you accept this as truth, you magnetize every person and experience to you that empowers you to be your highest potential.
Every relationship, regardless of how long it lasts or how it ends, comes with a gift. Will you receive this gift?
Thank you for reading. Sending you blessings of healing, empowerment, and love.
Love Renegade Wisdom & Healing Blessings,
Lauren
P.S. In addition to the Forgiveness video above, here is another healing resource, called “Your Solution for Feeling Hurt & Let Down,” to help you feel better as you heal from a breakup or embrace the potentially amazing changes that are unfolding in your life: https://youtu.be/ogPFf3UbV6A
When it comes to relationships, the subject of forgiveness becomes inevitable. If you are anything like my clients and me, you have mixed feelings or strong emotions around forgiveness. If someone still has your power, as in they are living in your head rent-free, then it might be time to forgive—or at the very least explore the subject of forgiveness. To support you with this, I created a Love Renegades Forgiveness Series. Watch part one called “The Annoying Thing about Forgiveness” here and feel empowered about your next healing steps:
Of course, you can read the description below but the video is more fun and it contains a special healing transmission for you. 👇
Hi Beautiful. Today let’s talk about why it is so hard to forgive. Wow. You know forgiveness really used to be a concept that annoyed me. I thought “why in the world would I forgive someone who has hurt me and caused me problems? Why even waste time thinking of the other person? Why give them my energy?” Why, why, why??
Then one day, I realized that as much as I did not want to forgive them or think about them, they were still creepin’ their way into my heart and experience. When I realized that my thoughts and in a word way that these people had some power over me, that was when I was like , “no, no, no. It is time to gt in touch with my inner Love Renegade and let this go.”
So right now you might be upset with somebody and harbor lots of feelings of hurt. You may have been betrayed. Someone may have treated you in a mean or maybe even abusive way. Forgiveness doesn’t mean that you need to be in a relationship with that person or that there needs to be a happy resolution.
No it means it is about freeing yourself so that you can allow more Love to come to you. So that you can feel better within yourself, your experience, and within your relationships. This really supports you in attracting and manifesting circumstances and relationship that reflect what you ultimately consciously desire, which is love and to be loved
What is your relationship with anger like? Do you avoid it? Do you repress it? Or do you lash out and rage? I grew up in a home where I was not allowed to be angry and where I was often the recipient of other people’s anger. It was really uncomfortable and confusing!
Over the last decade I have come to see [when experienced in a conscious way] anger is a deeply helpful emotion because it indicates when a boundary has been crossed. In relationships, boundaries are so important! Boundaries allow us to give and receive love in a way that benefits all involved.
Not everyone agrees with this and that’s ok. But here at Love Renegades, part of how we create incredible relationships and lives that we love is by feeling our feelings and setting healthy boundaries– both of which play a huge role in breaking free of the Illusion of Sacrifice too!
Years ago when I realized that this was my truth, I remember feeling angry! I had come across a quote about love and relationships that really pissed me off and inspired a passionate rant!
See, my relationship coaching and love psychic business was at the beginning of transforming into Love Renegades. I am grateful that the anger I felt has allowed me to deepen my understanding, perspective, and approach regarding the importance of boundaries in relationships and in serving amazing people like you.
Here are some questions for you to explore in your self-care time:
What role is anger playing in your life, your relationships, your dating experience, etc right now? What is no longer working for you? What boundaries are you thinking about setting?
If you are in a different place right now, what boundaries did you set to get you to where you are now?
It’s all such a fun process of self-reflection, isn’t it?!? 🙂
Here is the transcript of the video:
There is something that I really, really want to shed light on. This is about love. Ok really—it is about what love is NOT. More than that it is what so many of us think that love is. I want to give you an example so that I can stop being so freakin’ theoretical here.
OK, I was looking at different quotes about love. I stumbled on this one, and I am just going to be honest. It pissed me off. It’s in line with everything that I want to talk to you about today. It says:
A strong relationship starts with two people who are ready to sacrifice anything for each other.
No! It is not true and absolutely messed up! If somebody tells you that you need to love them by sacrificing for them, then you need to run for the hills!!
BECAUSE THAT IS NOT LOVE!
Love does not put conditions and parameters. That is [the illusion of] control! That is [the illusion] of sacrifice! That is manipulation. That is just some BULLSHIT!
So, if anyone tells you that, then run!! And if you are the person doing that then I ask you, “are you more about controlling people or are you more about love?” Because Love is a creative energy. And if we are sacrificing ourselves or if we expect someone else to sacrifice themselves to show us so that we can tell everyone how “in love” we are with each other, then really…
What comes out of sacrifice? Really nothing comes out of sacrifice. It keeps us stagnant. It keeps us stuck. It keeps us locked in the same patterns!
And Love is a creative energy. Love gives us new opportunities to experience ourselves to express ourselves. To be IN LOVE and ENGAGES with our lives!
So sacrifice is a love myth—there is an illusion of sacrifice—that really just ignites something in me! And as a Love Psychic—who a true LOVE RENEGADE— I feel it is my responsibility to shed light on these misconceptions, these illusions of relationship, these love myths.
Or read the transcription below…which is fine but you may not fully receive all of the love that is available to you in this healing transmission if you only read about it 👇 👇 👇
Hi, I am Lauren Kay Wyatt. I am an Intuitive Coach, the founder of Love Renegades, and the Creator of the Illusions of Relationship™ system.
Today I want to connect with you about the Illusion of Sacrifice. The Illusion of Sacrifice is one of the Illusions of Relationship that causes you to disconnect from your own needs and to be completely tuned into the people around you. For example, you would intuit your partner’s needs, your friends needs, your children’s needs, but that you would be completely disconnected when it comes to your own needs.
While it is a beautiful thing to be so caring and loving and while it is a super power to know other people’s needs, the dysfunctional side of it is being codependent and to really expect other people to give you what you give them–when one of your super powers is giving.
So what will really support you in breaking free of the Illusion of Sacrifice is making a commitment to connect with your own heart and to treat yourself the way that you treat other people by tending to your own needs.
Now this may take some deep self-reflective work that might feel kind of scary. I encourage you to be courageous. At Love Renegades we say Courage is the Vehicle of Love. I encourage you to really go for it.
Go for it in getting to know yourself and in getting to love yourself. Explore those shadows so that you can break free and be free and so that other people will love you the way that you love them and so that you can even have a higher level of that ideal.
