Daniel and I have been together for 12 years. He is my favorite person. I sincerely believe that this is because both of us are committed to our own growth and respect each other as individuals.
Neither one of us wants to change the other or lives in the past of our relationship. Both of us are very different people from who we were when we first met.
Our secret is simple, and it’s the same one I bring forth to my clients. It’s being our true self and witnessing the other in their growth.
When working with clients I bring forth a variety of tools that clue my client into who they are at soul-level and they are designed to use energy. Through coaching and in shedding light on Mistaken Thinking and the Illusions of Relationship, my clients set themselves free to be their true selves and create and realign relationships where they no longer have to settle, sacrifice, or pretend to be who they are not to receive love.
Does this resonate? it might be time for a sacred inquiry.
Many people I connect with express to me that they want to have fulfilling relationships where they feel loved, seen, and supported by others. What I have found is that while this is a beautiful ideal, it is an ideal that can unknowingly push love away.
With the desire to be loved, seen, and supported by others, you might have created standards that came about from past negative situations where you experienced the opposite of being loved, seen, and supported.
As these events were unpleasant—and understandably very hard for you—they caused you to put walls up to protect yourself from being hurt. Then, as you began to process and heal from those experiences you developed healthy boundaries for how you wanted to be treated.
This was great then, but now you are likely stuck and not feeling fully loved, seen, and supported by others. This is because the healthy boundaries you once created have now become conditions, and conditions inevitably lead to being stuck.
Let’s explore this in a practical way…
Many of us mistake approval for unconditional love and acceptance. To see how true this is for you, look at how you handle rejection—in all areas of your life—not only your relationships!
Do you avoid rejection by staying quiet and tolerating what no longer supports you?
Do you avoid rejection by being so forceful and frequent about expressing your opinions that it pushes others away?
Do you choose to dislike others because you perceive that they do not approve of you?
This mistaken thinking [of believing that unconditional love and acceptance are the same as approval and validation] keeps you stuck. Instead of going deep within yourself, authentically connecting with yourself, and making choices that go beyond your conditions by connecting authentically with others, your energy gets fixated on protecting your self-image and micro-managing other people.
What would change if you handled rejection in a new way? What would it feel like to create new boundaries instead of upholding outdated conditions?
Thank you for reading and for spending some time on your relationship with you today.
One form of mistaken thinking is believing that life has to be hard and that relationships take a lot of work. Many people believe that we have to suffer in order to grow and that anything worth having requires a lot of work. While there is a little bit of truth to this, this is another form of mistaken thinking. Suffering and growth do not have to co-exist. -Lauren Kay Wyatt, CEO of Love Renegades
To go deeper with this, I have some questions for you!
Do you believe that life has to be hard and that relationships take a lot of hard work? On a scale of 1-10, how energizing are your life and relationships? Do you feel more enlivened or more tied down by your relationships and circumstances?
If you are not energized by your life and relationships, you most likely—at least on some level—believe that life has to be hard and that you have to suffer to receive “anything good.”
What would change in your life and relationships if you did not have to suffer? How would you be different from who you are now?
Tired of feeling frustrated, overwhelmed, and stuck in your current relationships? You might be experiencing mistaken thinking, a phenomenon which makes it very hard for you to see the opportunities in front of you, causing you to take incongruent action, which ultimately leads to being stuck and feeling the frustration, anger, resentment, etc. that comes with it.
Signs of mistaken thinking include the following:
Following advice that is NOT congruent to you and expecting it to work. There is A LOT of mistaken thinking perpetuated by so-called relationship experts, health authorities, and business coaches.
Seeing only one or two options for how to move forward. This is the Illusion of Absorption at its finest. If you only see one or two options, you are participating in a form of mistaken thinking. If you find yourself arguing that you have no choice, then ask yourself, “Why do I need to be right about being so powerless and limited? How does this help me?”
Viewing yourself as wrong or defective. This is a form of self-abuse designed to keep you stuck and perceiving yourself as powerless.
Believing that life has to be hard and that relationships take a lot of work. Many people believe that we have to suffer in order to grow and that anything worth having requires a lot of work. While there is a little bit of truth to this, this is another form of mistaken thinking. Suffering and growth do not have to co-exist.
Doing what you did years ago, when your relationships and life are now calling you to new action. Usually what worked for us five or six years ago will not work for us anymore. If this is what you are experiencing then it is time to break free of mistaken thinking and open yourself up to new possibilities.
Any of this sound familiar? Would you like to resolve your mistaken thinking, reconnect with the Truth of who you are,and be on your way to authentically enjoying your life and relationships? Hire me to “clean up your thinking” with a Soul Guidance Session. The Soul Guidance Session includes the following:
Key insight into how you can move forward in a way that resonates to your unique energetic signature
Shedding light on the Truth of the matter, without all of the illusions that are causing “mistaken thinking”
Practical guidance for relaxing into your energy as you take new aligned action
This session is 60 minutes, delivered on Zoom. The session is recorded for your convenience. It also includes a 30 minute follow-up session. Until Wednesday June 9, 2021, at 7 PM CST the Guidance Session is only $300, which is half my normal rate!!
After I receive notification of payment, either I or someone from the Love Renegades Team will be in touch to schedule your session and gather the information that I need to create your session. Please know that all sales are final and refunds are not offered.
I highly encourage you to take me up on this offer. I am looking forward to working with you!
NEW VIDEO about the Illusion of Absorption, the Illusion of Relationship™ that separates you from love with mistaken thinking, over thinking, and believing you know everything!
Read the transcription below, but it is highly recommended that you watch the video!
Today I am so excited to connect with you about the Illusion of Absorption. This the 5th of the Illusions of Relationship. This one separates from Love and disconnects you from your heart by keeping you in your head and in the space being a know-it-all, trying to figure everything out, thinking you have everything figured out. It is totally an illusion because as much as it is hard to admit or accept, there is no such thing as certainly. Yes, when we are under the Illusion of Absorption we take in everything that we have learned, we absorb it, and it is really hard for us to open ourselves up to other perspectives. But really, we have hit a wall. Really, we can only see as far as our perspective will allow us to see. What this can do is it keeps you in your heard. It can make your heart cold. You might feel that you are disappointed by people or that you are disappointing others in some way. You might have some really logical reasons as to why. I have such much love and compassion for you. We’ve all been there. My advice to you is to have love and compassion with yourself to recognize “my heart is cold. It’s a little cold right now. I have some healing to do. Yes, I have done a lot already, but there is still more.” Just set that intention for you to attract the resources and the people ( the coach or healer or mentor) who can support you with what.
There is a difference between doing something new with gusto and trying. When we try, we are unknowingly activating the Illusion of Perfection, one of the Illusions of Relationship™. It’s a heavy energy!
When we try, we act with expectation. We are expecting something to happen. Expecting someone else to do something. This creates a lot of heavy pressure, creating unnecessary obstacles and burdens. It’s draining! It is a lot to carry.
You may think “I am doing everything right! I am trying so hard! Why is this not working?”
Acting from a place of trying energizes the Illusion of Perfection and is a wonderful recipe for frustration, anger, and fatigue. These energies are not attractive when creating a new relationship—one that reflects you! Nor do they magnetize new, enjoyable circumstances in your current relationship!
See, creating a new relationship or a different result in our current relationships—both where we are free to be our true selves—takes love and conscious aligned effort. It is consistently making new choices. It’s committing to show up as the person who has their ideal relationship.
What is your ideal relationship? If you are already in a great relationship, what would make it even better?
When you answer this question, I urge you to keep your answer focused on YOU and not on your partner. Here’s why…
If you watch the the Illusion of Perfection video (which you can do here: https://youtu.be/kf6ZJvdqeG8) you will see that one of the traits of this Illusion is being judgmental and critical. When we want others to be different from who they are, we first must acknowledge the parts of ourselves that are ready for an upgrade.
Does that make sense?
Sending you blessings of divine understanding, trust, and of course: Love.
Perfection really is a sneaky beast! It urges us to follow the crowd and while it may lead to some sort of validation, it is really shallow and superficial at best. Really, any praise obtained from trying to be perfect, is the equivalent of fast food. It feels good while it’s happening, but if you eat too much and for too long…well, it can have lasting effects—and not the good kind!!! 🙂
This leads us into the Illusion of Perfection, one of the Illusions of Relationship™ that separates you from Love by causing you to be deeply inauthentic. This Illusion is so subtle that it you will often think that you are being true to yourself by just refining (and well, perfecting) when in reality, you are playing out a cycle of fear.
How does this impact your relationships? Well, it can cause the people in your life—especially your partner(s) or prospective partners—to not even know you. No one, including you, ever gets to truly connect with your authentic identity. This can cause deep longing and frustration—which can play out in sooooo many [dysfunctional] ways in your relationships!
If you would like to transcend the need for perfection, you must heal the Illusion of Perfection within you. Here are two videos where in less than 15 minutes—you will you will receive a deeper understanding of the Illusion of Perfection, and you will have an opportunity to connect with your authentic (ahem LOVE RENEGADE) self.
It is my intention that these videos bring you healing clarity on transcending the need for perfection and in creating a life and relationships that reflect your Divine self!
You can read the transcription below, but it is highly recommended that you watch the video.
What we are going to talk about right now is the Illusion of Perfection. The Illusion of Perfection is the fourth Illusion of Relationship that separates you from Love and disconnects you from your heart by willing you to be absolutely flawless and perfect. This particular Illusion of Relationship causes you to not be yourself. It does this because it keeps you from getting to know your true self. You are constantly plugged in to other peoples’ expectations of you. Now, they might be perceived expectations–projected ones! They may not even be true. A lot of assumptions are made with the Illusion of Perfection. When we are trying for an ideal that is not authentic for us, it puts us out of our brilliance and it makes us inauthentic. This can cause us to attract a lot of situations where we feel like we cannot be ourselves and where we cannot even access ourselves and are genuinely afraid of our potential. Dear one, if this sounds like you, my advice for you is to connect with your heart and set the intention to tap into the creative power, to let your Love Renegade guide you in being yourself, and for you to be courageous enough to put your beautiful heart and enter the world in your own unique way.
How many times have you spoken your truth, only to be on the receiving end of someone’s wrath? Maybe you have experienced it with family? Maybe during a break up or a fight?
Whatever it is, know this: The Illusion of Drama is at play! This is the Illusion of Relationship™ that affects us most in the areas of emotions, feelings, and change.
Let’s dive deeper into understanding the Illusion of Drama by shedding light on expectations, one of the biggest culprits in creating unnecessary drama! See, most people go into relationships with expectations. It is human nature to desire certain things!
One of these expectations, for instance, is that the man “should” pay for dinner. Yes, it is nice to be treated to dinner but expecting something puts a whole lot of unnecessary pressure on the date, which can lead to assumptions and drama!
Another way that expectation creeps its way into a committed relationship is when one partner feels that the other should be responsible for all of their emotional needs. This where the drama really kicks in!!
Imagine you are in an intense emotional state. You expect your partner to react to you in a certain way. Whether you are seeking comfort, affirmation, or validation—your partner does not give you what you want! Maybe your partner even sets boundaries with you about it. Maybe you perceive this as rejection and just become angrier and angrier!
Let’s look at the other side of this dramatic interaction…
A person you care about is experiencing intense emotions and a part of you is afraid. You tried to fix the situation and found out they were not looking for solutions! Now you feel unappreciated. At this point you might see the person as inconsolable. Whatever it is— the emotional energy is too intense for you! You are now in survival mode, and truly believe you need to run for cover. So you yell that you need to be left alone…or you just shut down.
Does any of that sound familiar? If so, what do you do? You could complain to your friends—-feeding into the drama! You could vilify your partner—-creating a whole other level of drama…Or you could break free of the Illusion of Drama.
If you have not yet watched the Illusion of Drama video or if you need a quick reminder, watch it here: https://youtu.be/EL1lsxJc4xw
If you are in the middle of high emotion and drama, I offer you empathy and a gentle reminder that you have a choice. You can free yourself from the drama in a way that supports your personal growth and relationships.
I will be in touch soon with more information on how you can break free from the Illusion of Drama. We will also be starting our adventure into the Illusion of Perfection soon.
Hello, Drama, My Old Friend! When Drama arrives in your life, it could mean that you in the middle of the manifestation process and in the middle of creating real lasting change! OR it can mean that you are under the influence of the Illusion of Drama, one of the Illusions of Relationship™ that pushes love away from you with a misuse of the powerful energy of Drama!
Watch our latest video and receive the healing transmission here==> https://youtu.be/EL1lsxJc4xwhttps://youtu.be/EL1lsxJc4xw
Read the transcript below 👇 👇 👇
Today I want to connect with you about the Illusion of Drama. The Illusion of Drama is the third of our Illusions of Relationship™ System that disconnects you from your heart and separates you from Love with a lot of drama, with a lot of distraction.
When we are caught into the Illusion of Drama, it is usually when things are so chaotic and busy, and when there is a lot of conflict within and relationship dynamics and within ourselves. When that is happening it is really important for you to tune in and to really be aware of how you can be the most authentic.
Are you emoting and creating drama for drama’s sake? Are you talking about your problems so that you can get attention? Or are you on the verge of a big empowerment opportunity and healing breakthrough in your life and your life is simply aligning to create that.
Drama is a part of the transformation and healing process and it is really important during this time that you go into it with a loving open heart, with a commitment to being authentic, and to step into your transformation with clarity and with a knowing that it is all working out in your favor.
Are you caught in the Illusion of Drama? Want to find out for sure? Take the free Quiz and find out which Illusion of Relationship™ is influencing you here: https://laurenkaywyatt.com/quiz/
Want to go deep and receive empowered support? Contact lauren at love renegades dot com and request a free session.
