Practicing Detachment for Healthy Boundaries

by | Sep 20, 2023 | Wisdom Wednesday

THIS IS A TRANSCRIPTON. 

Hello and welcome to Wisdom Wednesday. I’m Lauren Kay Wyatt, your psychic, spiritual advisor, pet psychic, and transformational coach. 

Okay, so this Wisdom Wednesday—by the way—Wisdom Wednesdays are our spiritual coaching accompaniment to the Weekly Predictions that I send my community every Friday.

So if you’re not on my mailing list already, please sign up. You can do that on my website. All of that’s in the description of this video, and when you do, you receive weekly psychic predictions for free every Friday to assist you in navigating your week with trust, love, and confidence.

Okay, so back to Wisdom Wednesday—what we are connecting about today are these themes of detachment, “being the witness,” and how this really is an opportunity to practice healthy boundaries.

So before I go any further, it is amazing to have good boundaries. When we have good boundaries, we are really tuned in to what we would like from other people, and we can also let them know what they can expect from us.

It’s always a good way for you to be aware of what kind of terms you have in the relationships that you’re in; and what your expectations are. When you can communicate those expectations, you can see if they’re appropriate to the relationship or not, and you can also allow for more love and feelings of well-being to come into your relationship.

When you’re aware of what you would like, what you wouldn’t like, what you’re willing to give, and what you’re not—for instance—in my business, one boundary that I set with myself is [ON THE WEEKENDS] not be on the computer as much, to not check or respond to emails—even with my VIP clients unless it’s an emergency situation. This really assists us in cultivating a divine independence where there’s support and boundaries—which allows me to take care of myself more, sets an example for clients, and lets them know what they can expect from me. It’s awesome, and I feel like it really up-levels the work we’re doing together.

So with all of this being said about healthy boundaries, it’s also really important to be in a place of detachment, and here’s something that I’ve run up against; what I’ve seen within me and my clients is sometimes we can hear this word “Detachment” and we can go into the mistaken thinking that what that means is that we don’t care about a situation or we’re lacking compassion for another person. 

It’s mistaken thinking [to believe that.] It’s an illusion. It’s not true. So it’s okay if you feel that way about detachment, but it’s also something for you to be aware of. So when I say “Detachment,” I mean practicing this art of “being the Divine Witness.” 

Let’s say somebody calls you to maybe, I don’t know, I don’t know, complain about something or there’s something really stressful happening in the world. Believe me—with the intensity that we have having—it is really stressful out there. It might really feel like I’m downplaying it, but when there’s a stressful situation and when you feel the pressure of expectations coming on you about how to respond and what to do or if you’re very sensitive and empathic like me or a lot of my clients—the thing is you may feel the other person’s emotions. 

It might feel really intense for you, and you should get in there and help them. Or if there’s a stressful situation, you may want to get in there and go for it; however, that is not always helpful. There is much to be said about taking action and “being the solution to the problem.” However, sometimes it can come from this messy place that lacks boundaries, and it can go into these patterns of just maybe not wanting to feel what’s happening, maybe not wanting to see fully what’s happening, but getting into old patterns of how you viewed and how you felt about these highly stressed, stressful situations and relationship dynamics…

Let’s say somebody does call you to complain or someone’s in fear—before you answer the call check in with yourself on whether or not you have enough energy. Again, if you don’t, that’s okay. It doesn’t mean that you don’t care. It means that you care about yourself, and as we’ve discussed, we need to treat ourselves the way we want other people to treat us.

Make sure that you really want to talk to that person. This is a form of being honest, and when you’re honest with yourself, it really helps. When you’re willing to act on that honesty, it really helps a relationship.

Now when you go to talk to the person—and it might be an uncomfortable conversation—make sure that you’re in your energy, that you’re grounded, and that you’re ready. 

When connecting with the other person, notice how you feel. Notice if your heart’s beating—whatever is happening—take a moment to step away and be the Divine Witness of the situation.

Now this is an art that you can practice over time. It may not happen right away. It may not happen in every conversation, but when you’re not in the dynamic anymore, or when you’re not in the stressful situation anymore—it’s always a good idea to step away, to take a few deep breaths, to kind of review what happened, and to be honest with yourself about how you felt, what your thoughts were in the conversation, and what your motivation was.  

This helps you cultivate self-awareness, and it can also help you detach from the situation. So it’s not being engulfed by the pain of what’s happening. Instead, it’s acknowledging it; feeling it, but also noticing that there are other perspectives—other data if you will—for you to collect.

This is something that I would like for you to experiment with. This week, you can start by checking in with yourself. If you feel triggered by other people or different situations or content that you come across, that’s always a great opportunity to practice removing yourself, detaching, and really being honest with yourself about how you feel the sensations in your body, the emotions, and the thoughts and recognizing that there’s so much more to the situation than what you might be able to immediately see and perceive.

So thank you for spending time with me today on Wisdom Wednesday. I’m Lauren Kay Wyatt, your psychic, spiritual advisor, pet psychic, and transformational coach. If you’re on my mailing list already, you will receive your weekly predictions on Friday in the U.S., on Friday morning, and I will also be in touch next week with another Wisdom Wednesday.

There’s also a secret list that I have that gives you a psychic message every day, and you can find out more about that later on as well. In the meantime, thank you so much. Love to you!

Wisdom Wednesday is the “spiritual coaching companion” of the Weekly Predictions.
Sign up for Weekly Predictions and receive psychic insight and Divine Guidance
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The Message You Need to Stop Feeling Drained!

by | Sep 15, 2023 | Wisdom Wednesday

Hi. Welcome to “Wisdom Wednesday.” I’m Lauren Kay Wyatt, your psychic, spiritual advisor, pet psychic, and transformational coach.

Let’s talk about people. More specifically, [let’s talk about] people and all the different energies and perspectives and perceptions that come along when you are with a lot of people.

So, when you’re just in a dynamic with one person—whether it’s on Zoom or the phone or you’re meeting for coffee or a date out with your significant other—whatever it is—your energy is with their energy. Both of you are impacting each other, whether you’re aware of it or not. 

When you’re in a group setting—all those different people and all of those different energy fields are all there together. Again, whether it’s in person, on Zoom—whatever it is [and with however many people are there]—sometimes it’s really easy to get swept up in how the other person is influencing you or how the group of people is impacting your energy.

 This isn’t about, “oh I need to have boundaries. I don’t want anyone to get in. I don’t want to be influenced by anything.” —[all of that] can definitely be an experience that can make things even more wild than [it needs] to be and definitely more dramatic than [it needs] to be! 

The best thing you can do—in any of these situations—whether you’re attending a conference or you’re going on a date, you’re working in a coffee shop or you’re just hanging out at home, whatever it is—is to be aware of yourself!

Before everything that you do, check in with your own energy, breathe, and remind yourself of Who You Are and how you would like to feel in any of these interactions that you’re in. Remember what you stand for as well. 

What I mean by this, specifically, is when we’re in groups of people [such as a] family gathering—whatever it is—[a work situation even]—we can really get swept up by how the whole group thinks or how we think we’re supposed to think. 

Again, it’s really good to be aware of who you are, how you want to feel, and what you want to experience. 

Now, this doesn’t mean that if you’re not quite in agreement with anyone that you have to—oh, I don’t know—get into a fight or have a conflict with someone. No, it’s simply being aware of what’s yours, what’s theirs, and how you feel. 

They’re telling me this also goes for social media. So, whenever you go to check your phone to see your likes—or whatever it is—ask yourself, “why am I checking my social right now? Is it out of boredom? What do I want to get? What am I seeking?

Remind yourself of Who You Are. All of these things that we’ve just talked about will really empower your energy. You will definitely feel more energized, more vibrant, and you’ll get to enjoy these relationships and social settings all the more.

Thank you so much for tuning in. I am Lauren Kay Wyatt, your psychic, spiritual advisor, pet psychic, and transformational coach. 

If you’re on my email list, you will receive your weekly predictions along with a channeled healing transmission for you in your inbox every U.S. morning. 

If you’re not on my mailing list, please go ahead and sign up. I would love to have you as a part of our community. Thank you so much.

Wisdom Wednesday is the “spiritual coaching companion” of the Weekly Predictions.
Sign up for Weekly Predictions and receive psychic insight and Divine Guidance
in your inbox every Friday—for free!

Authentic Flow of Abundance!

by | Sep 6, 2023 | Wisdom Wednesday

Hi, thank you so much for watching. It’s “Wisdom Wednesday.” I’m Lauren Kay Wyatt, your psychic, your spiritual advisor, your pet psychic, and your transformational coach

Let’s talk about abundance and more accurately let’s speak to the part of yourself that feels a little challenged by abundance.

There may be parts of you that feel like maybe things are unfair or that you’re not receiving enough, that things aren’t happening quickly enough, etc.

So really in this talk about abundance, we are going to spend some time talking about the absence of abundance; as you’re experiencing it.

The Universal Law of Polarity lets us know that we cannot fully know and understand what something is if we do not know what its polar opposite is.

So right now we’re talking about abundance through what abundance is not. This would be through really noticing and maybe having an emotional reaction to the parts of your life that don’t feel abundant; the parts of your life that you feel are lacking. Yes this has to do with finances, your bank account.

It can also be within your relationships—where maybe you feel like you’re not receiving enough love from your partner or from your friends, etc.

Whatever it is, there is a perception of lack here. For the purposes of our time together, let’s get back [to talking about] the opposite of abundance. Right now what’s coming through is: know that when you’re experiencing lack, the answer is not to trick yourself into all of a sudden being abundant and grateful.

No. What we’re asking you to do is to look at the actions that you take which come from a place of fear and a place of lack. 

For instance, maybe within your friendships you do things that you don’t really want to do. [You do things that don’t] energize you but you’re hoping that it’s going to result in something.

Or, you’re doing things because this [action] is what a “good friend” would do. Or maybe within your primary relationship, or it doesn’t even have to be with your significant other. It can be with other people in your life.  

Maybe you’re really focused on being right and having the last word. Yes, you’re a junior—that’s what we call ego around here—your Junior may think that they enjoy feeling right about everything, but isn’t it kind of draining to always have to prove your point and be right?

In other words, any action that is draining any action that doesn’t ultimately feel good—it might be like a “quick hit” [where junior says,] “yes I got the last word.”  

But, we know those things don’t last forever, and the same cycle repeats itself which causes this void, this lack, and this emptiness.

Or at work—maybe you’re at a job that you’ve been in too long, maybe it’s time to renegotiate with your boss about different things that you could do or not do.

If you have a business, maybe it’s time to change how you do certain aspects of your business. All of these things may not totally seem like they’re directly related to abundance or to money, but they are impacting your prosperity and your abundance!

So, what’s coming through for you is to use this time to look at [these questions:] 

  • What do I do that I feel drains me?
  • What drains me?
  • Are there any relationships where I feel drained?
  • Are there things that feel good that I could be doing but I’m not doing?

 Really look at where you’re putting your energy. Commit to making some new choices—choices that feel like abundance.

What does abundance feel like in your body?

What’s the one word or short phrase that comes into your awareness when you feel in abundance? Having all the money that you want in the bank? Spending time with who you want? Being treated the way you want to be treated?

Feel that!

And take actions that feel that way.

Thank you so much for tuning in for this “Wisdom Wednesday.” I’m Lauren Kay Wyatt, your psychic, spiritual advisor, pet psychic, and transformational coach.

If you’re not already on my email list,  please sign up because every Friday morning in the U.S., I send out [free] weekly predictions to help my community navigate with love, trust, and confidence.

Thank you.

Wisdom Wednesday is the “spiritual coaching companion” of the Weekly Predictions.
Sign up for Weekly Predictions and receive psychic insight and Divine Guidance
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Relationship Dynamic Game-Changer!

by | Aug 30, 2023 | Wisdom Wednesday

So often, when we’re in relationships, we can feel powerless. We can sometimes let our emotions take over. We can lose sight of ourselves, and we end up giving all of our power over to that other person. What I mean by that is our sense of well-being and our sense of self-worth can be really contingent upon what another person does or does not do.

Now, maybe you’re watching this video, and you have not felt that way in your relationships. If so, that’s wonderful, but if you’re listening to this and you can relate—whether it’s something that you’re going through now, it’s something that you’ve experienced in the past, or something that you’ve noticed with friends, or loved ones of yours—it’s really important that we acknowledge the power that we do have in our relationships.

[Our power in our relationships] is something that a lot of people overlook. What I’m talking about is it’s what we give our attention to. If right now you you feel bad about yourself because of how someone else has treated you—first of all, acknowledge how you feel, but I encourage you to take a step back and ask yourself, “How do I treat myself?”

Because here’s what’s up—the way that we treat ourselves does influence how other people treat us! I had a mentor who taught me, “We train people how to treat us,” and when I heard this several years ago—wow, so much opened up for me! This has been a process of my journey with boundaries and what’s coming forward today is to look at your relationships and to acknowledge how you feel about yourself in the relationship.

Notice any criticisms that you have for the other person who you’re in this relationship with. Yes, it’s true if it’s a romantic relationship, your significant other. This can be applied to our parents, to our adult children, our friends, clients.

Whatever it is—if you notice that you have some judgments, complaints, or criticisms about the other person—you are being guided to turn that around on yourself!

So, for instance, if you notice within your relationship that you have the perception that you cannot trust this other person, and [this lack of trust] is all based on things that have happened in the past, first of all, acknowledge that you’ve had that thought.

And also, check in with yourself. Ask yourself, “do I trust myself?” Because if we have issues in trusting ourselves, if we don’t listen to all parts of ourselves, if we ignore our intuition about something, if we’ve been in dynamics that are more emotionally abusive where it causes us to second guess ourselves—we may not trust ourselves!

So notice if you have trust issues. Then, check in on how much you trust yourself, because you can trust yourself. You can start cultivating self-trust by really “having your own back,” by taking care of yourself, by noticing these relationships where maybe you’re not treated the way that you’d like to be treated.

Really ask yourself, “Are you treating yourself the way that you would like for people to treat you?” If you’re noticing that you’re constantly put on the back burner or people don’t listen to you, do you listen to yourself? Do you set aside that time with yourself?

Take some time to really receive this message that is coming forward for you, essentially it’s loving yourself to listen to yourself and work on your relationship with yourself.

So, thank you for watching this video with me. I’m Lauren Kay Wyatt. I’m your psychic, your spiritual advisor, your pet psychic, and your transformational coach.

This is from Wisdom Wednesday, something that I put out to accompany the Weekly Predictions—where you can only get the Weekly Predictions that go out every Friday if you sign up to receive them. There is a link to do that in the description of this video so thank you and I look forward to connecting with you.

Wisdom Wednesday is the “spiritual coaching companion” of the Weekly Predictions.
Sign up for Weekly Predictions and receive psychic insight and Divine Guidance
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Handle an Ego Flareup with Ease

by | Aug 23, 2023 | Wisdom Wednesday

So, if you’re watching this right now, maybe “Junior” has paid you a visit. So, who is “Junior”? 

“Junior” is a word that I use to describe “our ego.” Other words for our ego can be our “not self,” “our smaller self,” “our inner critic,” etc. “Junior” is that nagging voice in your head. “Junior” is that inner Saboteur. “Junior” is the one who wants to “play the victim” in every situation. 

Sometimes, in spiritual circles, we can hear things like, “I just want to kill my ego.” 

Sometimes we want to deny that loud part of ourselves, but the thing is—if your junior is really loud right now, and you just go and push Junior in a closet—well, what “resists persists,” and the issue isn’t fully acknowledged.

So you know, and I know that when we ignore something—well, sometimes when we ignore something—it, you know, it can be a good thing as sometimes things resolve on their own, but in this case “Junior” is being really loud.  It’s really good for you to know what’s going on with “Junior” now. 

If you’re in a space where you feel anxious or fearful, I invite you to observe it. Observe it, and have compassion for yourself. Sometimes, being a person can be really hard and what I’ve noticed about “Junior” is “Junior” can get really loud when you’re in a time in your life where you have been trusting yourself more than usual, where you’re taking some steps that are outside your comfort zone. 

Yes, this voice is here because this voice and I mean “Junior’s” voice is afraid of what your life will be like if you continue to trust yourself and do things outside your comfort zone. So Junior gets really really loud.

I would love for you to love yourself, acknowledge how far you’ve come, and give yourself some attention now. This does not mean that you’re going to listen to all of “Junior’s” anxieties; all of “Junior’s” worries. You can listen but don’t have to follow “Junior’s” advice.

Just like in life: if somebody is always making choices that are really fear-based and is afraid of change—for whatever reason—I’m being guided to tell you not to listen to that person but to listen to your-Self, to your intuition to your higher self.

If you’re having a hard time hearing that right now it’s because “Junior” has gotten really loud. So, know that your intuition is not going to speak to you in this yelling fearful berating kind of way. Your intuition is likely going to be calmer. It’s going to feel more self-assured.

At this time, it’s really good for you to practice tuning in and listening to [your intuition] instead of all of the “noise.” The noise can come from within where it’s “Junior” throwing a tantrum. “Junior” can also show up in other people’s “Juniors” as well, so notice what’s going on in your environment. 

Know that you can observe what’s happening. You can be compassionate. You can set boundaries with yourself and with other people. Give yourself time to acknowledge how far you’ve come and listen to yourself.

I’m Lauren Kay Wyatt. I’m your psychic, spiritual advisor, pet psychic, and transformational coach. This is Wisdom Wednesday. 

You will hear from me soon. If you’re not on my mailing list, please sign up, because I send my community free Weekly Predictions every Friday, and I would love to connect with you. Thank you.

Wisdom Wednesday is the “spiritual coaching companion” of the Weekly Predictions.
Sign up for Weekly Predictions and receive psychic insight and Divine Guidance
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The Message You Need to Trust Yourself!

by | Aug 16, 2023 | Wisdom Wednesday

To assist us in navigating with trust, love, and confidence, the message that comes through today is to trust. Yes, we are in a new time. Yes, things are changing. Yes, there is so much uncertainty right now. We’ve been taught to fear uncertainty–when there is excitement around this uncertainty.

Yes, excitement, anxiety, and fear—all of those emotions and feelings can blend together, but the exciting thing about uncertainty is the creative adventure that comes with it! So yes, things are changing. Yes, a new door is opening. Yes, you have free will, and yes, things are happening that are outside of your control!

Something that came into my own awareness not long ago was, “What if Destiny was something that our higher self chose for us?” This Rings true for me, so I want you to know that with [regards to] this uncertainty that is happening—your higher self chose for you to be born into this life for a reason, during this time for a reason—all to experience itself!

With these changes happening and for so many of us we may feel like, “Oh this has been pressed upon me. I can’t. What do I do?”

There can be a fear about how to be in this uncertainty and this new reality, and we can want to cling to the past, but what you’re guided to do is to TRUST. Trust that you are here for a reason, that your entire being and your energy matters, and your gifts are important! 

Please accept this truth and to know that it’s okay to be scared and feel worried. We ask you to gently shift your focus toward the future, this new beginning, what is coming, and what is. 

Focus on this new level of Love, this new level of abundance, this new level of clarity, and Consciousness—trust that your soul is allowing you to choose!

So thank you for tuning in for this Wisdom Wednesday. I am Lauren Kay Wyatt, your psychic, your spiritual advisor, your pet psychic, and your transformational coach and guide for this epic adventure that we call Life.

Wisdom Wednesday is the “spiritual coaching companion” of the Weekly Predictions.
Sign up for Weekly Predictions and receive psychic insight and Divine Guidance
in your inbox every Friday—for free!

September Clarity Portal: Illusion of Perfection to Divinely Perfect

by | Sep 3, 2022 | Uncategorized

Watch me channel this healing transmission: https://youtu.be/fPHWyiB2Lk0

I am experiencing the ocean. I am experiencing the ebb and flow. This shows me that you may be feeling stuck. That you may be experiencing an illusion of unworthiness. Taking the details of life, that ebb and that flow out of context–to think that just bc something isn’t flowing at the lightning speed that you want—that there is a judgment there.

Yet, it’s during this time when you feel stuck––it’s almost as if there is this running river and everything is flowing and flowing flowing and you are just grasping onto this rock bc you don’t want ot be taken in by the tide.

This speaks to how even though we can desire something or ask the universe for something, we need it to come in at a gentle pace bc if it comes in too fast—we can feel afraid.

In this month of September, you may notice some inner judgments, some criticisms, some perfectionist tendencies that you may be used to or may these tendencies show themselves every now and then.

This illusion of perfection is perfect as we are in this time of Virgo. So while you desire to improve adn step into the fullness of who you are. Know that when you step into this fullness, you are also showing up bigger and brighter for others,.

You are turning into a lighthouse. Yes, this can feel overwhelming and yes your Junior may try to tell you that you are stuck. Please know taht this is a anillusion.

You cannot be stuck if you allow yourself to flow with life.

So as we go back to that image of the ocean, with that ebb and flow and the image of the river flowering and winding—you are asked to trust in the uncertainty, to surrender to the flow—trusting that you will not drown. That you will not be overwhelmed.

Feel that welm. Yes, even joy can feel overwhelming. We can stop it so that we do not have to feel that surge of joy.

What we ask you to do this september is to let go. To let go and trust. Release the need to control. To release for things to be perfection. As perfection goes beyond the limits of your mind.

Just bc something isn;r taking place in the way that youw ant, doesn’t mean it is not taking place.

So if you will open your heart to receive this blessing trust. We ask that you allow yourself to be filled with this energy of trust. To allow the Divine to gently cradle you s you flow down that river. Allow yourself to enjoy that ebb and flow and that movement of the ocean—for this an extension of you.

August Clarity Portal: Illusions of competition and conformity

by | Aug 7, 2022 | Uncategorized

For the last several weeks I have received psychic nudges and external signs from the Universe to film myself in a trance-like state, as I access my very own clarity portal. It feels vulnerable to do this, but when the time was right, I acted upon the guidance.

The result of this contains a sacred healing transmission and an energy blessing to support you in the month of August 2022. Here is an excerpt from the beginning of the video:

“I notice that within this month, perhaps because it is the month of Leo, a lot of people are fighting for the spotlight, fighting to be heard, and they really want to be seen. This is a time to honor your heart. What does this mean? It means that this is a month to do what supports your inner joy. In August, we want you to be aware of society’s conditioning and what it means to follow your heart. What makes you whole may be different from what you see in the media. This is a time to shine the cosmic spotlight onto yourself so that you may be revealed.”

As I reflect on this message from the August clarity portal, I find themes of competition, conformity, and what it means to allow your true essence to shine.

With social media, we see that we are in a time where it is really apparent that so many people want their opinion to matter and not only that, they are seeking external validation only for their opinion and putting other people in boxes who do not appear to share the same values and opinions. While it is important to be aware of our own preferences, sometimes we can block ourselves from seeing and hearing clearly when we are too attached to our thoughts, opinions, and emotions.

Spirit is asking us to turn the Cosmic spotlight away from other people onto ourselves so that we may see how we are really showing up and whether [or not] we are living from a sense of love, wholeness, and authentic self-expression, or if we are caught up in the illusions of competition and conformity.

My favorite part of the video is the energy blessing that comes toward the end of the video. This blessing brings us back to truth, wholeness, and peace.

Watch the video here: https://youtu.be/WdI3WiuGsNA

If you haven’t already, take my personal illusions/illusion of relationship™ quiz here:https://laurenkaywyatt.com/quiz/

Sign up for free weekly predictions, delivered to your mailbox every Friday morning, USA time here: https://laurenkaywyatt.com/weekly-predictions/

Seeing Beyond the Illusion

by | Jul 26, 2022 | dealing with drama

As a psychic, I am gifted with the ability to see beyond perceived problems and challenges.  This means that even when things are difficult, I am able to look beyond how things appear and to receive what is needed for that moment. 

This gift to see beyond is so much more than simply telling the future, but it is giving the seeker what they need to know about themselves and the situation at hand.  Sometimes, we go through tough times because the way in which we have been doing our lives is no longer aligned. In this time of obstacles, we are asked to look at our potential.

Think for a moment at how you respond to drama and obstacles in your life.  Do you absorb the uncomfortable energy or do you fight really hard to change your circumstances? Both types of responds lead to stress and not the good kind either.

What if in this challenging time, you chose to shine through the obstacles and perceived challenges?  Right now, as I type this, I receive a vision of a dark room—there are no windows and there is nothing but darkness in this room—until cracks begin to form within the walls.  Most people might be afraid of seeing cracks in the walls—but what this means for you is that the way you are perceiving your life right now is not exactly true.  What does light do when there are cracks in the wall?  It shines through—creating light in the dark room.

Now, I want you to see yourself: your higher self, as the light that is shining through the cracks.  With the newfound light, your Junior can now find a way out.  

This is how you shine through! So what this means for you is that right now there may be something in your life that you feel uncertain, uncomfortable, or negative about.  Instead of hanging out in the symbolic dark room with no light and ventilation, visualize yourself as the light—making its way through the cracks, shining light, and showing you the way out.

Giving yourself a chance to “see beyond” shows you that there is so much more to life than the symbolic dark room. There is a whole big world out there—a world beyond your perceived problems and insecurities.

You do not need to feel confident or worthy enough to experience the bigger picture.. Instead all you need to be is willing.  Be willing to access your light and shine through—no matter what is happening.

Are your boundaries blocking you from abundance?

by | May 24, 2022 | boundaries

are boundaries blocking abundance

Let’s talk about boundaries, the often arbitrary lines that let us know what is ok and what is not ok, and the role of boundaries in abundance. 

If you are anything like me, you did not grow up with healthy boundaries modeled to you. You may have had experiences where your boundaries were violated. Your first experiences in setting boundaries may have been because you experienced the pain of what it was not to have them. 

You may not know this about me, but over the last decade, boundaries have been a personal life project of mine. Recently, I have seen that many well-meaning and hurt people weaponize their boundaries, whereby their boundaries are actually a form of defensiveness.

While I certainly understand this and have done this myself, my eyes are wide open to how many of us block ourselves from higher levels of love and abundance through being defensive, all in the guise of “setting boundaries” and standing up for ourselves. 

If we have known each other over the years, then you know that I am a fan of “standing up for yourself.” As someone who has referred to herself as a “recovering doormat” and who has attracted many situations that felt unjust and simply wrong—I am not suggesting that you allow other people to treat you badly. Not at all!

Instead, I am asking you to check in with your own motivation and the energy behind your boundaries. Are you setting boundaries to create higher levels of love and connection or to “protect yourself” from people who hurt you?  Ask yourself, “In standing up for myself, what am I standing for? Am I protecting an old identity or being self-righteous? Is there any part of my reaction that would be defensive?”

While you tune into those questions, I will share a story with you. Someone I once coached several months back got very upset with me and fired me. Why? Well, I “violated her boundaries” and she “needed space.” What did I do? I gave her honest, intuitive, LOVING feedback that her choices lacked integrity and were not aligned with what she wanted to experience and create.

You and I both know that I did not share this opinion with her to hurt her, but her Junior (my word for ego) saw the situation very differently and decided to set some really strong boundaries by ending our coaching relationship. I believe that if she would have let herself explore the strong feelings that came up and if she chose to see me as being on her side, rather than as a big monster who she needed to get away from, then she could have opened herself up to new levels of authenticity, love, trust, and abundance. 

All of this brings me to the point of this message…There are times when boundaries are rooted in defensiveness. My request to you is to acknowledge areas in your life where you are being rigid and blocking yourself from new levels of love and abundance.

I realize it’s a big ask. This particular conversation about boundaries requires self-awareness, self-compassion, and a willingness to look within. I promise you that identifying these patterns will continue to liberate you and allow you to enter the oasis of abundance.

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