Let’s talk about boundaries, the often arbitrary lines that let us know what is ok and what is not ok, and the role of boundaries in abundance.
If you are anything like me, you did not grow up with healthy boundaries modeled to you. You may have had experiences where your boundaries were violated. Your first experiences in setting boundaries may have been because you experienced the pain of what it was not to have them.
You may not know this about me, but over the last decade, boundaries have been a personal life project of mine. Recently, I have seen that many well-meaning and hurt people weaponize their boundaries, whereby their boundaries are actually a form of defensiveness.
While I certainly understand this and have done this myself, my eyes are wide open to how many of us block ourselves from higher levels of love and abundance through being defensive, all in the guise of “setting boundaries” and standing up for ourselves.
If we have known each other over the years, then you know that I am a fan of “standing up for yourself.” As someone who has referred to herself as a “recovering doormat” and who has attracted many situations that felt unjust and simply wrong—I am not suggesting that you allow other people to treat you badly. Not at all!
Instead, I am asking you to check in with your own motivation and the energy behind your boundaries. Are you setting boundaries to create higher levels of love and connection or to “protect yourself” from people who hurt you? Ask yourself, “In standing up for myself, what am I standing for? Am I protecting an old identity or being self-righteous? Is there any part of my reaction that would be defensive?”
While you tune into those questions, I will share a story with you. Someone I once coached several months back got very upset with me and fired me. Why? Well, I “violated her boundaries” and she “needed space.” What did I do? I gave her honest, intuitive, LOVING feedback that her choices lacked integrity and were not aligned with what she wanted to experience and create.
You and I both know that I did not share this opinion with her to hurt her, but her Junior (my word for ego) saw the situation very differently and decided to set some really strong boundaries by ending our coaching relationship. I believe that if she would have let herself explore the strong feelings that came up and if she chose to see me as being on her side, rather than as a big monster who she needed to get away from, then she could have opened herself up to new levels of authenticity, love, trust, and abundance.
All of this brings me to the point of this message…There are times when boundaries are rooted in defensiveness. My request to you is to acknowledge areas in your life where you are being rigid and blocking yourself from new levels of love and abundance.
I realize it’s a big ask. This particular conversation about boundaries requires self-awareness, self-compassion, and a willingness to look within. I promise you that identifying these patterns will continue to liberate you and allow you to enter the oasis of abundance.
If you haven’t already, please sign up for weekly predictions!! If you want to know more about the oasis of abundance, please email me for your own copy of the audio transmission!
When you master rejection, you master life. Whether you like it or not, it supports you to accept that rejection is a part of life.
You are constantly choosing what to say yes to, what to say no to. When to wait, when to act, when to move forward.
If you do not “reject” an idea, a person, an offer, etc—you are stuck in indecision. Often, when we are indecisive, we are pushing away opportunities for expansion, success, and abundance.
The worst kind of rejection is when you REJECT YOURSELF—aka denying your own inner truth—by staying in the situation, relationship, or dynamic for way too long!!!
So when choosing to leave a situation or relationship, all you can do is make sure you leave with integrity.
Trust that no matter how much of an empath you are, know that you are NOT RESPONSIBLE for how the other person feels about your choice to leave.
Their feelings are theirs and you have no business micro-managing those feelings!
If there is a reaction from the other person about your choice, let them have their reaction, respond if you need to, and move on. Trust that your departure benefits the highest good.
On the flip side, if you feel hurt that someone says no to you or chooses to move their life in a different direction—LOVE YOURSELF through your pain—trusting that their choice is NOT ABOUT YOU.
For both the rejector and rejected, release the other with Love. See the situation as aligned to both your highest good and for your journey as a whole. <3
One of my gifts is helping my clients trust themselves and their decision-making process. Not only am I psychic and skilled at reading situations, relationships, and people, but I am certified and trained in modalities, such as Soul Realignment and Human Design, that support my clients in connecting with their intuition and innate decision-making process.
When you know how you are wired to make decisions and actually follow this sacred guidance, you tap into trust and authentic self-confidence. This allows you to create a life and relationships that you love---as well as learn how to respond to the "curveballs" that the Universe throws at you.
I would love to assist you with your journey! Check out my psychic boutique and get a reading! Also, I have specials going on in March so reach out by email if something grabs your attention.
Reflection, contemplation, and release—all energies associated with the Solstice. To assist you in leaving behind what no longer supports you, I would like to offer you two things.
First, I want to invite you to have a Grand Tableau Reading with me. In this reading, we will look directly at the future and all circumstances, dynamics, etc that you can use to navigate the first part of 2022. This session is $277 and 75 minutes. I would love the opportunity to support you on your love and life path and in healing the Illusions of Relationship™. Make your payment here.and I will be in touch with you within two days to schedule your session.
Second, I want to shed light on the Illusion of Satisfaction, the Illusion of Relationship™ that separates you from Love by causing you to NOT acknowledge what you are actually tolerating.
Be warned. I am going to be very direct in my communication about the Illusion of Satisfaction. Please know that while my delivery may seem harsh, I am carrying a healing intention of reconnecting you with our power so that you can experience authentic satisfaction, joy, and love.
The Illusion of Satisfaction triggers your Junior—my word for ego—to “fool yourself” into believing that you like and enjoy what you are, in fact, tolerating. This can pertain to mistaken thinking aka the limiting beliefs that you carry. It points to the relationship dynamics you insist on keeping.
One example of this is so many of us say that we want a “good relationship.” We all want and desire love and yet we are not “good” to ourselves. Instead, we allow ourselves to be treated badly. We make ourselves really small to be “nice people” and we tolerate terrible behavior from others—without realizing that they are an externalized representation of how we are treating ourselves!
If you want to have a “good relationship” you must be “good” to yourself.
To heal the Illusion of Satisfaction within you…
1.) Start by looking closely at where you choose limitations. What “stories” do you tell yourself that encourage self-deception? Just so that you know—these are often the areas where you blame yourself and others and feel that you do not have a choice.
2.) Demand more from yourself by asking yourself, “Why do I continue to tolerate these things? Am I really so fearful of the unknown? Am I really that afraid of love? Why do I cling to what hurts me?”
3.) Experience all of the emotions—even anger, rage, and sadness. By allowing yourself to experience and acknowledge these emotions, you set yourself free, and you are more able to access pure satisfaction and joy.
Thank you for reading. If you want more information on the Illusion of Satisfaction,watch this video on my YouTube channel, where I am much softer in my approach. 😈
Thank you so much for letting me guide you with my own contemplations! Sending you so much love and blessings of gratitude. 💚
With Love and Wisdom,
Lauren
P.S. A few people have reached out and asked me if I am still accepting long-term coaching clients. The answer is a very authentically satisfied YES!! I love my new structure in my coaching programs!! ❤️ If you are interested, please consider starting with a Grand Tableau Reading, where you tap into gaining access to authentic confidence and satisfaction. Make your purchase here, and I will be in touch within a couple of days to schedule your session. Please know that due to the nature of this service, all sales are final and no refunds are offered.
What if your biggest challenge was actually a gift? What if the gift of the challenge was the blessing on the other side?
Over the last 18 months, I have endured the intensity of the challenge and its corresponding gift. Choosing to embrace the challenge gave me the courage to release elements of my business, certain habits, and relationships, and to make space for more expansion. The results have been revolutionary, and it goes back to my choice to assist others with my most sacred gift, my psychic abilities.
It is no secret that I went “all-out” in having a highly successful coaching business. I have hired people to help me achieve this, and I’ll be the first to tell you that I have hired the “wrong” people. I put the word wrong in quotes because one of the gifts I have experienced came from the fallout I experienced from hiring the “wrong” person.
Even with the emotional drama and stressful intensity, my experience with this person reminded me of what it was to play the role of a “doormat” in a relationship as well as what happens when we override our own inner wisdom and intuition because we choose to be “seduced” by another.
The gifts I received from this challenging situation brought me closer to my Divine Essence while allowing me to relate, connect, and cultivate more empathy for others who are in abusive relationships and stuck in choice patterns that separate them from their inner wisdom and Divinity.
All of this is in service to you because now I have more creative, more authentic, and more diverse ways to assist you!
For instance, let me introduce a new service called a Grand Tableau Reading. This is a 75-minute psychic reading that will give you clear insight into the future as well as an accurate portrayal of what is happening now. In addition to having everything laid out for you, you will receive highly attuned advice from Spirit on how you can navigate the next few months and how you can respond to whatever situation or challenge presents itself “in the cards” or that you find yourself in. The current price of this offering is $277. Make your payment here.
After I receive notification of your payment, I will be in touch via email (from lauren at love renegades dot com) within no more than 48 hours, to schedule your session and with some simple intake questions. Please know that due to the nature of this service, all sales are final and no refunds are offered.
New services include psychic healings, other psychic sessions, and even energy healing and psychic support for your beloved pets, which you can find out more about on Instagram @Petpsychichealer. For more information, visit my “psychic boutique” here.
I am so excited about the newfound passion, enthusiasm in my business, and variety of services I can offer you. I fully believe that this is one of the many gifts that I have experienced from the challenge I told you about earlier in this post. These gifts came from choosing to see the purpose of all the chaos, all the drama, all of the intensity that I endured, and for that: I am incredibly grateful.
So, if you currently find yourself in a challenging situation or if you feel you may never be free of your current experience, I invite you to acknowledge that the blessing, the opportunity, the gift, etc is here. Not only is it here, but it is just around the corner waiting for you. <3
Sending you so much love and blessings of gratitude.
As a Love and Relationship Psychic and Coach, I have the pleasure of connecting with people about their love lives and relationships. Recently, I felt inspired by a client’s session and received Divine Guidance (and her permission) to share this with you.
She is a beautiful, vibrant woman. Highly intelligent, successful, and quite kind. She is the type of person many of us would see and think, “Her life is perfect. She has it all figured out.”
The reality is that she has been in an emotionally abusive romantic relationship for three years too long.
She has told herself that she can fix it—that if she could just “be better” and “work harder,” then her partner would be happy—and that maybe the relationship would one day be what she has always wanted it to be.
In this relationship, she often experiences feeling devalued, dismissed, wrong, and anxious. She is not treated with love and respect. Many times, she has wanted to leave but has chosen to stay. She is losing confidence.
Does anything about her story feel familiar to you? As someone who loves to identify and dismantle illusions that separate us from Love, which I call the Illusions of Relationship™—I am excited to shed light on this common situation with a Love Renegade’s perspective, starting with mistaken thinking.
My client’s mistaken thinking was such that she believed that “being better” was going to going to lead to new enjoyable experiences in her relationship. Her motivation for “being better” was with the expectation that her [former] partner would like her more or treat her better. Although completely understandable, this approach is not only manipulative but also a form of self-deception.
The mistaken thinking at play here aligns fully with the Illusions of Relationship™, but not with Love. If continued, actions made from such thinking would result in more opportunities to deceive and be deceived, more reasons to stay stuck, and more dissatisfaction in relationships—causing a lot of pain and frustration!
Now back to my client—-in addition to being gorgeous and successful—she is a martial artist. In her coaching session, her Guides and I directed her to apply martial arts to this common relationship dynamic. From this exercise, she uncovered that her [former] partner’s “signature move” against her was a chokehold-—which made perfect sense for her!
See, the throat is the energy center of communication, authenticity, and self-expression. When we have blocks on our throat chakra, we are experiencing difficulty in speaking or living our truth. Nothing about this relationship really supported her in shining as her authentic self!
As we continued the session, I watched her throat chakra heal as she connected with her inner Love Renegade. As she saw the enlightened truth before her, she embraced a new perspective that will support her in breaking free of an emotional chokehold and the Illusions of Relationship™.
Of course, without being consciously aware of it, many of us unknowingly allow ourselves to be put into emotional chokeholds. For your own healing and illumination, I encourage you to spend some time with the following questions:
What would I do or say if I felt more trusting and confident?
Is there anywhere in my relationship or life where I am deceiving myself?
I want to speak about popularity and how it impacts our relationships. As a love and relationship psychic and coach, I get to connect with a wide variety of people about heartbreak, healing, and frustrating experiences they’ve had in their relationships.
From my experience, I notice that there are some of us who would rather be popular and liked, rather than be in an authentic, happy relationship. As someone who takes pleasure in identifying and spotting illusions that separate us from love and cause disruption in our relationships, our dating experience, with our significant others, etc—which I have come to name the Illusions of Relationship™— I got curious about this.
I have seen that for some of us, the thought of fully claiming what we want and daring to be our authentic selves, is an absolutely terrifying endeavor. Bringing this to a person’s attention has, more often than not, led me to be highly unpopular, which I take responsibility for.
I see that many of us are [unconsciously] fond of our Illusions and when questioned, cling on more and more tightly. Even though it is empowering and deeply healing to know when we are in Illusion, it can lead to a lot of fear for someone who is not ready to see themselves and others with eyes of love and truth.
What I feel guided to share with you is that I am willing to be unpopular. Yes, if I am fortunate enough to have you on my mailing list and if I am blessed for you to be a client, then no matter what I will identify misalignments to Truth and I will support you (as best as I can) in having a life and relationships without sacrificing, “selling out,” or settling.
If you have been following me for a while, you will see that I talk about the sacrifice aspect frequently. More recently in my last email about the Illusion of Satisfaction, I touched upon the settling aspect. Now, it’s time to discuss “selling out.”
Whenever we try to be who someone wants us to be, we are selling out. It puts us out of alignment with our personal truth and with universal truth. When we pretend that we are ok for settling for less than what we actually want, when we fail to communicate our needs, we are acting out of fear. We are, in a way, telling the Universe, “no. no thanks. I may say I want a great relationship, but my actions show you that I am fine with getting crumbs.” This leads to resentment and it keeps you further from what you actually want.
What I have come to see is that shedding light on Illusion can frustrate and upset people, and you know what? I understand.
It can be very scary to step up and ask for what you want. It can be really intimidating to live life as your true self. For most of us, it is unknown. It is uncertain. We are taught to believe that the unknown is scary and should be avoided at all costs.
This is the journey of a Love Renegade. As courage is the vehicle of love, the Love Renegade chooses to see, heal, and work through Illusions. Love Renegades choose to create their own future based on love and truth, instead of selling out and being who everyone wants them to be.
So today, I send you blessings of courage as you embrace your unique path and dare to create relationships that reflect and support YOU.
This picture marks a time in my life when I was very much engaged with the Illusion of Satisfaction and surrounded by the Illusion of Perfection. It began a time of going deeper and daring to create authentically and addressing all of the fear along the way too. More on that another time. 🙂 For now, let’s deep dive into the ins and outs on the Illusion of Satisfaction…
As a relationship psychic, I am gifted with the opportunity to connect with a variety of people about their relationships. This can happen casually at a social event or within the sacred space of a coaching conversation. As we go deeper, I am often delighted by the “new level of self” I hear expressed to me within the conversation.
The other day something interesting happened…
This person in my coaching space did not have a problem. Her relationships were great. Her career was booming. She was pleased with her health and family life. This is unusual in that most people who seek me out to have this kind of a conversation have something that they want to heal, change, or transform.
Also—I could tell that she was not lying to me or trying to “prove” how great things were going for her. I say this as I notice that some of us may overcompensate by talking about how well we are doing in order to bypass how we are really feeling or to “cover up” the bits of our lives that we judge or make wrong in some way.
I digress…
As she and I went deeper, I saw that she was likely under the Illusion of Satisfaction, the Illusion of Relationship™ that separates us from love by covertly (a.k.a. often unconsciously) keeping us from our next adventure.
To go into a little more detail, the Illusion of Satisfaction often impacts people who are very well-accomplished. These people have often overcome huge struggles and setbacks or they beat the odds in some way. These are people who are successful and who many seek out for advice or mentorship.
How the Illusion of Satisfaction operates is sneaky in that it “hides” the next new experience. This can look like a lack of, or a low-key reluctance to start, something new—such as a relationship, new level of relationship, or a different creative endeavor. The reluctance is there because a part of that person fears the unknown; they have memories of how hard things were before and/or they are afraid of their lives being disrupted.
Do you judge others for not giving you the support (ahem, validation) that you would like? Does a part of you feel that you *need* support from others to be the person you desire to be?
I ask these questions to shed light on Mistaken Thinking where love and support are confused with entitlement and validation. See, it is normal to seek safety and comfort when you are making changes and making new choices.
What we forget in this process is the Illusion of Drama, the Illusion of Relationship™ that separates us from Love by insisting that drama come with the natural chaos of change.
When we make changes our environment will react. By environment I am largely referring to our relationships. The other person (let’s say your partner, your husband, your adult child, your best friend, etc) may not be in “like vibration” to the changes you are making and may react as such. In this instance, it is important that you acknowledge that like you, this person has free will.
Just as you are free to make changes, others are free to react to those changes. If any part of you is seeking validation and approval and even feels entitled to receiving this so-called unconditional support, all you are really doing is activating the Illusion of Drama by causing yourself unnecessary drama, pain, and agony.
I bring this up to invite you to acknowledge your own actions, your own intentions, and your own process of initiating change. For example, have you entered into change with a variation of either of the following? (I have done both!)
Example A– You bulldoze forward with an attitude of, “I don’t care what others think! They will have to deal with it!” Example B– You take action, but you do it in a covert way. It’s like you are living a double life.
Each of the aforementioned situations will inevitably lead to fear because they were initiated with fear. Not only do both of these actions invite drama, as they amplify the Illusion of Drama, but they also make assumptions, which is a hallmark of the Illusion of Absorption.
As you grow, it is wise to accept that much like your inner world and our beautiful oceans, your relationships will ebb and flow. You may find that some of these relationships fall away. This can be both a time of grief and a time of celebration.
Whether your heart is hurting from a breakup or a series of misunderstandings, choose to know that healing and peace are on the way. What would happen if you stepped out of a victim mentality and into your own authority? What would you do differently with all that you learned? What has the other person taught you about yourself?
Learn more about the Illusion of Satisfaction, one of the Illusions of Relationship™ by watching this video here: https://youtu.be/taQdRO5_kwc
Or you can read the transcription below. 👇
“Today let’s connect about the Illusion of Satisfaction. The Illusion of Satisfaction is the sixth of the Illusions of Relationship™. It keeps you disconnected from your heart and keeps you separated from Love with its own shame and hurt. The way that the Illusion of Satisfaction works is that you may tell yourself that you are just completely fulfilled and “fine” with your life and current relationship—when that is not exactly the whole truth. The Illusion of Satisfaction works in that if you are single and would really deep down want to have people in your life or that one person who you can really connect with and share your life with—that you tell yourself “no, I am just fine not having a partner.” What is interesting about the Illusion of Satisfaction is of course we want to be satisfied and grateful for current circumstances. Sure, things could be worse, but it becomes an Illusion of Relationship when we lie to ourselves, and we fail to admit what we really want to feel amazing and what if we really want to experience. If the yearning is there, then the possibility of having it is there. To allow that [reality] into your life, you first need to admit that you want it. Yes, you may have had a long road where you had your heart broken in some way. Maybe a relationship fell a part. Maybe a creative project or a new business did not work out the way that you wanted it too. It is OK to stop and breathe and heal. You can do that while admitting that there is something more for you to experience and to allow into your life.”
It is Mistaken Thinking to believe that you need permission from some outside authority to have what you desire. You may wonder, “who is this perceived outside authority?” Before we go into the answer to that question, let’s talk about change. Please consider the following questions and select at least one to reflect upon:
What in your relationship and life would you love to see “magically” change?
What would the tone of your relationship or dating experience transform into?
How would your qualities of friendships shift?
What would you no longer tolerate in your life and relationships?
In order for any of your answers to the above to occur, you must be willing to make the change that is reflected in the answer to the question. Here are some examples:
Example One– You want your partner to be fully supportive of your growth and your path. If this is true and you want to be able to connect with them on a deeper level, then you be the one to give yourself the permission, love, attention, and support that you desire from your partner.
Example Two- Perhaps you are tired of playing the role of the “helpful friend” who always gives free advice. If this is the case, then consider that maybe you choose to be the “helpful friend” to obtain permission (a.k.a. validation) instead of stepping into higher levels of your self-worth.
Example Three- Maybe it is time to set a boundary or start a new endeavor that you have been thinking about for some time, but instead of moving forward, you fear the fallout. Instead of taking action, you allow confusion and the fixation of what other people will think (i.e. secretly wondering if you have their permission) to keep you from moving forward.
What it comes down to is this…
Because you are the most important person in your life, you are the best authority in your life too! Will you give yourself permission to create a life that you love?
Thank you for reading and for spending time with yourself today.
